Tuesday, September 13, 2011

R & R

I sent caleb to our neighborhood preschool fieldtrip with Tiff (thank you!!) so colton could sleep. It was so quiet i didn't know what to do. It was weird. Nobody yelling "MOM" at the top of their lungs (even though i told him i was going to the bathroom). Nobody yelling "MOM more George" (curious george). Nobody yelling "MOM" just to see where i was.

This morning...i had quiet. 

In my head, i frequently hear "take some time to yourself" or "you need a break" "you deserve time away from your kids...look at all you deal with" These are the moments where my heart doesn't seem to have enough room for all the love, compassion, kindness, patience and ...goodness that are required of me as a mother (the kind of mother i want to be). In these moments i can feel my heart expanding, tearing really. But the hugs, kisses, and quiet moments with my little men on my lap--these heal, enlarge and change my heart.

But this morning, i gave in to the call to "take time for myself."

It was nice. I had a long mental list of all the things i could do but instead i sat down in my favorite comfy reading chair and stared out the window.   I read blogs.    I cuddled colton when he eventually woke up. Toys are still strewn about. My bed needs to be made. But i have peace in my heart and that my friends is the thing to fight for.

1 comment:

Tiff Keetch said...

I'm so glad! You deserve it.. and the boys had so much fun! :)