remember when?

Remember when you were in college and anxious about finals, boys, money and boys?

wearing cute clothes that didn't get gross by watching a movie

having time to put on cute makeup

playing with friends without massive upheaval of schedules, finding babysitters, hearing whining....

life was so much easier then!

unexpectedly though, not better

 This morning, following the millionth demand of me, my time and attention in the three hours we have been awake

 i lost it. 

only in my head though which is a massive accomplishment in my world.

the boys are being pills and i don't know how i will survive the winter. 

seriously

but i will ; i know i will 

how?

Miracles. 

thats how. 

instead of yelling at my kids i have taken to praying and pouring my heart out desperately to God. 

i believe my Father in Heaven hears and cares about my pleas

instead of spanking (or threatening to spank) with wooden spoons i breathe deeply. 

trust me, my inner warrior-goddess is fighting me every step of the way to act to stop the infractions on my persona as a mother, woman and person. 

However this calling of motherhood isn't about me. 

its about them.

wifehood about him

This is why i fight myself, my less-than stellar qualities and bad habits

because i can be more.

i am more! 

and

Love can conquer all

Thoughts on Mary

A dear friend of mine just started up a new website dealing with mentoring other mothers to become greater. This woman used to be my babysitter and has become a close friend. Todays lesson got my wheels churning so i thought i would share with you my thoughts and her website should you be interested in checking it out. http://www.mountaintopmentoring.com

And Mary arose in those days, and went into the hill country with haste, into a city of Juda;  And entered into the house of Zacharias, and saluted Elisabeth. And it came to pass, that, when Elisabeth heard the salutation of Mary, the babe leaped in her womb; and Elisabeth was filled with the Holy Ghost: And she spake out with a loud voice, and said, 

Blessed art though among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb. And whence is this to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? For, lo, as soon as the voice of thy salutation sounded in mine ears, the babe leaped in my womb for joy. And blessed is she that believed: for there shall be a performance of those things which were told her from the Lord.

And Mary said, My soul doth magnify the Lord, And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour. For he hath regarded the low estate of his handmaiden: for, behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed. For he that is mighty hath done to me great things; and holy is his name. And his mercy is on them that fear him from generation to generation. 

He hath shewed strength with his arm; he hath scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts. He hath put down the mighty from their seats, and exalted them of low degree. He hath filled the hungry with good things; and the rich he hath sent empty away. He hath holpen his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy; As he spake to our fathers, to Abraham, and to his seed for ever.

And Mary abode with her about three months, and returned to her own house. (Luke 1:39-56.)

Points to Ponder:

1. Mary rejoiced in her Savior (Luke 1:47). How can we rejoice in the Savior? What great things has the Lord done for you?
2. Mary magnified the Lord (Luke 1:46) by praising the Lord and helping others to see His greatness. How can we praise the Lord and help others to see His greatness?
3. What good things has the Lord filled your life with?
4. Mary and Elizabeth rejoiced in the great things the Lord did for each of them. How can we more fully recognize the greatness in others? How can we rejoice in others’ successes and avoid jealousy?

Playing catch up

I read through my blog tonight. it was so fun to me. i

it reminded me why i should be blogging:

not to see how many people read my blog

not to try to get more readers

but

for my boys

for me

for rob

the memories are so much more vivid when i reread them. 

 Coltons dork outfit. it did not fit and being the kind mother i am, i took a picture of it to remember. 

he was watching caleb build a 'cat trap' in the back lot. 

just before this, our dog chased a cat out of the lot. 

i cheered her on (no offense) and she did great!

 workin man:

caleb told me he needed to earn money to replace a pipe he broke out at the playground. my standing rule is i won't pay him for jobs he usually does (clean room, pick up dirty laundry, clean up family room) so he volunteered to mop the floor. I figured...sure. 

he did a great job. he is four and it was the first time but he did great. 

so he got a quarter. the penny he is holding he found somewhere. 

he is so proud of that quarter. he keeps telling me he is going to pay his tithing and buy a bunch of stuff with it. i haven't the heart to tell him he can't really buy anything with it yet. i will have him wash some windows or learn to dust for more quarters before i break that news to him. 

 colton getting in on the action. 

whatever caleb does, colton tries for better and for worse. 

i think it is adorable and quite a burden for caleb

 The past two or three weeks we spend most of our days outside. i read books and the boys play in the dirt or with the neighbor kids. 

it has been amazing. 

i have no idea what i am going to do when winter comes. 

besides, i will miss my vitamin d

the neighbor kids. 

these three play every day. 

the game lately is soccer. 

we have various numbers of children playing soccer with varying non-soccor balls 

it is so fun for these three to be a little possey of friends. 

caleb tells me all the time he is going to marry abby. we consistently remind him it is up to her and it is a long way off. 

but we would adopt her in a second!

next summer colton will likely join the possey and a while after that abby and cam's younger brother will join the very loud party too. 

 caleb figuring out the two wheel scooter

 these are the game rob devised: wag that tail

when colton hears music, he gets all excited and shimmies his bum back and forth thus the name 'wag that tail'. colton tries to say the name of the game but it comes out garbled and i don't know when he says it unless rob translates for me, which usually doesn't happen that way. 

rob and colton definitely have a special bond. colton cannot get enough of rob. i find it endearing and a little sad. it used to be me that he always wanted but i suppose i had my turn. 

i am glad i worked so hard to appreciate the times he wanted me. 

i will likely be more glad as time goes on. 

more messes

caleb got excited to have some otter pops. 

his own kid scissors got stuck in the box and he must have started snipping because there was otter pop juice all over the floor, soaked the brown rag, and through the box itself. 

i contemplated grounding him from them altogether but i didn't have the heart to do it. 

he did help clean up

LOTOJA

My parents are doing the LOTOJA ride in a team with 3 other riders. 

i am so proud of them!! they have worked so hard, ridden so many miles and had so much enjoyment come of it all. 

so the boys and i did this craft today.

i wrote the saying, owing to its cheese-ball nature and slightly awkward phrasing. 

here is what it says:

we're nuts for you and think you are worth 100 grand. We hope your ride is full of joy and your butt holds up. hope the rocks don't force your tires to lose air, force you to rollover or get a whopping injury. We know you can lead the way and find the extra whatchmacallit when you need it. lead your leagues on the trail and betwixt you both, if you don't skid, you'll skor at your finish. We wish you mounds of luck so you can mamba now&later.

my mom got me a shirt so i could wear it in solidarity since i can't go cheer them on. If you see me wearing a lotoja shirt, it is to support my parents. 

you go mom and dad!!!

in case you don't know, LOTOJA is a bike ride from logan, ut to jackson, wy.
206 miles
3 states
1 day

workings of a 4 year olds mind

disclosure: we are not pro-obama

rob listened to the democrat convention speeches while he and caleb were driving home from his basketball game. 

rob: "do you know who the president of the united states is?"

caleb: "ya, the united states"

rob: "no, the president is barack obama"

caleb: "barack obama? barack obama.  he is the president? he protects us if there is a fire in the mountains or if there is an earthshake"

when caleb told me this, i busted out laughing. 

we talk a lot about earthshakes, fires and tornadoes. 

caleb helps me get our food storage put together. 

relying on barack obama is not part of our plan nor has the government helping us ever been part of our conversations. 

clearly he listened to the convention.

funny the workings of a 4-year old's mind.

thinking

do you ever find yourself thinking too much?

or more than you can handle?

these are classic characteristics of jill. 

my husband patiently lets me stew until i am ready and then boy-oh-boy how my cup overfloweth

we have been hanging out with grandparents. 

it has been great! 

we are thrilled to return to our normal patterns though. 

naps, down-time, predictable lunches and hoped for friend-time. 

New Family Pictures

My brilliant sister-in-law 

took our family pictures. I just got them and am so thrilled! 

She threw in some other pictures she had of the boys. 

I am so excited to get these printed and on my wall!!!

never mentioned

i love the idea of picnics. Every time we go outside to enjoy food, we get swarmed by bees and flies. being dive-bombed for my corn or potatoes is unpleasant. IT is also dangerous to all surrounding the table: you know the motions--large arm swinging motions to shoo a bee away as if they were prize boxers.

 It is more than obnoxious!

so trying to plan a romantic outdoor meal is impossible. 

This absolute fact is never mentioned in movies or books.

In movies and books, picnics  are where romantic, private chats and secret moments occur. THey are always picturesque. Always inviting and i always get sucked into thinking..."maybe this time"

i find this misleading. 

much like my favorite romantic movies of youth, they give the wrong impression of picnics (and love). 

life is good. life is hard. 

sometimes it is hilarious in it's irony. 

how come the real parts are celebrated minimally?

Fruition

i couldn't find any  'before' pics on my mac so just the 'after pics will have to do. 

i have been dying to fix up our heidous desk space for a while and finally, we did! I have designed this space multiple times and i am sure it will have further changes as time goes on but for now, i am thrilled!!

 The supports for the shelves are from ikea (2pk for $5) and i loved the pop of color they provided!!

 Thanks to my brother, i have the leg on the desk (kitchen countertop piece from home depot). The red was my idea. 

This is for my sisters in law, katie and maddie. They are wonderfully crafty and they make their homes adorable! I do not have that skill however i am practical and i had some paper so i recovered a cheerios box to hold papers on my new desk space. 

if you can't tell, red is my accent color (and latest obsession). 

happy friday!

how i know...

here is how i know fall is on its way:

when i put on a pair of pants and the material touching my legs below my knees feels foreign. 

i relish that feeling.

i look forward to it every year. 

everything below my knees rarely sees coverage in the summer so when i put on pants and it feels noteworthy...i know fall is on its way.

this always makes me smile. 

BYU football begins a week from today. 

Leaves are starting to change in the mountains. 

my thermostat is reading lower numbers in the morning. 

lets all pray for a stormy, wet fall and a snowy, slushy winter. 

we need it (and hey, i love storms!)

dear Inka

Dear Inka:

if you ever look at my blog, will you leave me a comment so i can get in touch with you? I deleted my Facebook account and i miss being able to message you. email would be fabulous perhaps then i could email you and get your address?! Me and the boys would love to put a package together for you. Caleb is big into mailing things and a german-bound package would be super exciting.

We all wonder how you are doing.

love,

your american sister
jill

Ikea Trip

 The whole time we were making our new bookshelf i was thinking "i should be taking pictures" but i was too absorbed with making sure everything went together perfectly so we could surprise daddy (something i never do and love doing!).

I haven't ever bought IKEA furniture before. It was fun, my four year old helped a ton and my 18 mo (not pictured) played around us. 

The box was super heavy and how i got it in the house is something i wish i had on video. Thanks to Caleb and 4 phases everything worked out just fine. 

From Caleb

Today we built a house out of foam, scissors, and some imagination. 

Caleb took these pictures and wanted me to post them so his grandparents could see them. 

:)

 The orange guys are the brothers, caleb and colton. See the front door? it has two little dots meant to be windows.

 To show off the roof

 Inside shot of the spacious palace. mom and dad are in blue and green, falling over.

We had so much fun with this project. 

these foam pieces were at the dollar store. 

 Then he decided he needed to take a picture of me

 of himself (he is wearing a tiger shirt with marker on it)

 Gatta get the curtains in

And me, nicely trying to get the camera from him. After this he dropped it on the floor. 

On sunday, emily in primary suggested making a specific commitment during the sacrament to help get more, learn more and work harder to understand the sacrament. I am so glad she shared that with primary. Immediately i took her challenge and two days in, it has helped me tremendously. 

Thank you emily for sharing your thoughts, even if the kids were not being reverent.