remember when?

Remember when you were in college and anxious about finals, boys, money and boys?

wearing cute clothes that didn't get gross by watching a movie

having time to put on cute makeup

playing with friends without massive upheaval of schedules, finding babysitters, hearing whining....

life was so much easier then!

unexpectedly though, not better

 This morning, following the millionth demand of me, my time and attention in the three hours we have been awake

 i lost it. 

only in my head though which is a massive accomplishment in my world.

the boys are being pills and i don't know how i will survive the winter. 

seriously

but i will ; i know i will 

how?

Miracles. 

thats how. 

instead of yelling at my kids i have taken to praying and pouring my heart out desperately to God. 

i believe my Father in Heaven hears and cares about my pleas

instead of spanking (or threatening to spank) with wooden spoons i breathe deeply. 

trust me, my inner warrior-goddess is fighting me every step of the way to act to stop the infractions on my persona as a mother, woman and person. 

However this calling of motherhood isn't about me. 

its about them.

wifehood about him

This is why i fight myself, my less-than stellar qualities and bad habits

because i can be more.

i am more! 

and

Love can conquer all

I believe...

I believe beauty is composed of a whole individual, not simply a face or body part.

I believe motherhood is a privileged (most of the time ;)

I believe God gave all of us our bodies as gifts.

I believe God has given us the opportunity to choose what we do with our lives. Also, the opportunity to deal with the consequenses.

I believe keeping a toothbrush and toothpaste in your purse is normal.

I believe I have a responsibility to educate myself and my children to the best of my ability.

I believe my life matters.

I beleive men don't get enough credit.

I believe nail polish and mascara are fantastically feminizing.

I believe we underestimate ourselves

I believe Jesus Christ is my personal Savior.

I believe i can make a difference in the world.

I believe the pop-culture in America is toxic.

I believe you matter.