Sundays are agonizing

We are that family.

As Rob put it yesterday, we are the family everyone likes to watch because we are entertaining and our kids make their kids look like angels.

Our church is three hours long. I work with the children so i am with them for two hours where we have classes, group singing time and group learning time then onto the congregational meeting where the real fun begins. 

All the kids become a herd running (even though they know to be reverent in the church) from their primary classes  to find their long-lost-parents, get seats and treats in the chapel. 

Parents pass children and babies around and taking care of last minute business while passing knowing looks of empathy to each other: gird up your loins the meeting is about to begin.

I begin to deal with Caleb because by now he has figured out which friends are on the nearby pews, who has what toys, if our snacks are worth paying attention to or better to barter with. My favorite parts--the songs--happen if i am not holding colton or if he is eating. Caleb is usually busy eating and drinking--preparing for his mid-meeting bolt to the bathrooms.

Usually we manage to make it through The Sacrament: the most important part of church because the whole meeting is quite. The kids, on penalty of death or perpetual practice of reverence at home are momentarily quiet. 

As soon as the deacons are sitting with their families the motherly pilgrimage of screaming tired babies begins. Usually i am in that group. By this time Colt has had it with the toys, treats and other distractions we try to use to convince him to sit on our laps for three hour straight and is ready to move. I try to listen in the foyer but chasing him so he doesn't crawl through the chapel, not kill himself on the stool for the drinking fountain, working to prevent screaming or tackling of other children usually keeps me distracted. 

It is at this time, i am told by my husband, Caleb really puts on a show. 

"Sharing" snacks with other children

hiding under the pew eating treats with his newest girlfriend

making faces at people around us

pestering colton (if he is there)

needing more water

figuring which friend is nearest to play with

NOT playing with any of the toys he has brought for himself.

At least once in the meeting he attempts to come for me wanting to "be by mom and colton". He usually bolts out twice to "go potty". I swear he goes potty enough just during Sacrament meeting to last the rest of the day. 

And then the organ starts to play the closing song and i go in and attempt to sing the closing song pretending i have just had all kinds of upliftment from wrestling children for the past three hours. 

Exhausted Rob and i get to the car, belt the children in and pause to take a deep breath before getting in the car to head home where upon penalty of death caleb will sit in an uncomfortable chair and irritate us while he attempts to 'practice' being reverent. 

"you can't be reverent in church? you will be reverent at home" we tell him

then we go to grandmas for dinner. 

Phew.

Thankfully i do find moments of upliftment. 

i love the children i work with 

i usually get to sing the songs

The Lord has helped me learn to find joy and humor in the chaos that is church.