Just another day...

robbed

2012-01-21T15:17:00.000-07:00

**Preface**

i love ross! The syles, prices and options all suite my taste but friday i lost some faith in humanity while at Ross.

I made caleb a superman bag--the kind that cinch up at the top--with my new sewing machine. It was the first thing i made. He loved it and went around saying "i'm a man!" while wearing it (adorable!). He hasn't ever been a kid be so attached to something he would it around but this was different. It has gone around everywhere with him.

We went to get a gift for my niece at Ross. We shopped around and ended up taking a potty break. Caleb took off his backpack and put it in our cart to go potty. I carried colton in--potty breaks at public places are so hard! We got done, reloaded and kept shopping around and when it was time to go check out we looked for the superman bag to prepare to leave. It wasn't there. We walked all over the store--it wasn't there. I asked the check-out girl and nobody had turned it in.

Caleb kept asking me about it and i had to tell my beautiful, innocent curious boy someone had stolen from him. Honestly--an obviously homemade spiderman backpack--that was starting to fall apart?! It had candy, a waterbottle and some childrens sunglasses in it.

Why...why?!!! i mean seriously people why?!

I was so frustrated. I have a strong momma bear streak in me. I have been trying to be cautious but kind and loving to strangers rather than rude and protective. I want my children to be kind to others and so i have tried to model that behavior. It is against how i want to be; most of the time i prefer to hole up and watch others as if they are going to take my children from me. So here i am trying to be a friendly, kind, trusting person and we get robbed...in ross...the store with the most obvious show of anti-thievery i shop at

My first reaction was to stop being kind and friendly and go back to my mean ways but then i thought of the Savior and His teaching of turning the other cheek. so even though i don't want to turn the other cheek--especially since it involves my son--i will continue to be kind to others and watchful. I want to be like Him and this is an opportunity as good as any other to rise above myself.

watch your stuff friends.

weekends

2012-01-16T14:49:00.000-07:00

I don't have many pictures so i will let your imaginations suffice Ü

~friday night we went grocery shopping. Even my husband who hates grocery shopping came!
~Rob played football (a newer saturday morning tradition).
~I got to go running on one of my favorite routes
~i got to teach my church class (4 and 5 year old kids)
~Rob didn't have meetings on sunday morning so we had waffles
~I made a spider man pillow case and mini-backpack for caleb
~I made a princess pillow case and small bag for my neice
~Rob worked on finish work on our wall
~we watched football
~my brother shattered his ankles.
yes, you read that right--shattered. He went off a motorcycle jump in too high of a gear and landed with his feed on the pegs shattering his ankles. He has been in the hospital in park city ( the track was up there) and is going to my moms to recover. He can't walk for two to three months.

My brother is full of energy and has had numerous motorcycle induced injuries but this is by far the worst!! Of course i am totally worried not only for his physical health but his mental health also. Sitting around for two months is going to take a toll on my active brother.

So if you have any advice or helps for a bedridden man or helping the family of a bedridden man i would love to hear them!!
I am so grateful for the snow and cold wind!

My new favorite pictures

2012-01-10T14:10:00.000-07:00

My newest sister-in-law maddie is amazing with a camera. I had no idea. My brother got her a new camera for christmas and these are only a portion of the pictures she took (see here). I love these pictures of the boys!

Thanks maddie.

I must be the luckiest mother ever to get these two yayhoos in my life.

Saturday brought happy changes

2012-01-08T22:03:00.000-07:00

I have a ton of pictures from december to catch up on but saturday we made huge improvements to our house. I have been wanting them for quite a while. Next step is to decide what color to paint my family room. We were going to do blue but now we have a clear view of my red cabinets so that may change the plan.

Hallway all along

Now we have open space!!!

Looking into the family room. (yes, christmas is still up)

i can't wait to paint.

posted elsewhere on the web

2012-01-06T10:30:00.000-07:00

So my friend and neighbor invited me to be the friday feature on hey nonny. I was so excited i spent the week composing what to write in my head. Finally on thursday i got an email wondering if i had anything. I felt bad i had made her wait so long without saying anything.

thanks ashley for the opportunity!
find my post about my pantry here

i can't think what to make for dinner

2012-01-04T16:20:00.000-07:00

i have no idea what to make for dinner.
it is 4:12 pm
my man will be home soon and will have yet another night when he asks "whats for dinner" and i have a vague blank stare come across my face and my senseless creativity comes to light.
usually these meals are edible but lack typical deliciousness i am so famous for in my house.

i am currently suffering from an aversion to meat. My uncle jokingly recommended therapy for such madness. I have a total of six things i love that are low/lacking in meat:

tacos (bean, rice and cheese)
grilled cheese (homemade bread is best)
pancakes from scratch and fresh ground wheat
rob's famous hashbrowns and scrambled eggs
soup
homemade pizza

you can imagine we are all a little tired of these beloved dishes.

I am hungry.
my house smells like baking sweet potatoes, my favorite tuber

8 years

2011-12-27T14:01:00.000-07:00

Today marks eight years!! i have been officially blissfully wedded to my best friend.

We met a few weeks before my 17th birthday at mulligans golf and game. That first summer working with Rob was a summer i could feel my life being marked. I remember those days with unusual clarity as somehow i knew, even as they happened, they would have long term significance.

We got married december 27th (and almost killed our mothers) because it was between semesters and i transferred schools to marry the man of my dreams.

He asked me this morning if it felt like eight years.

i said "no".

In some ways the time has flown by and in other ways it feels like it's always been this way...me and him takin' on the world.

Now we have kids we take on our ride with us and we are 'grown-ups'. Complete with a mortgage, an SUV and a dog.

I had a hard time finding a recent picture of just the two of us.

Now we are a father and a mother, husband and wife.

But we will always be us--Rob and Jill.

I love him so much more than i ever thought i could. Love has come to have many more definitions than when it was flirting, holding hands & kissing. Having the chance to learn these definitions with and for him-Rob-is the greatest privileged of my life.

My dear superman, you make my dreams come true.

~Jill

Ahh thanksgiving weekend

2011-11-28T10:43:00.000-07:00

waiting for rob to get off early on wednesday. what did we do??? Cabellas of course. animals and fish galore = heaven for little boys. oh, and trying on the merchandise.

Yes, that is a wolf chasing a caribou. Ever since i went to yellowstone national park with Utah State College of Natural Resources looking for wolves i am sorta in love with the fearsome creatures. Truly, they are majestic. I am sure farmers would disagree with me but since i am a city girl, i enjoy the beauty they possess.

My mother is a master chef and created a wonderful thanksgiving for us all!!

The food was as amazing as everything looked. We missed my brother jake and his wife katie but we are looking forward to Jared and Maddie's wedding coming up in a week and a half!!

As i do every year, the day after thanksgiving we put up christmas. Caleb is getting into the magic of christmas and it is so fun to help create that magic here at home.

This is my latest foray into creativity. My fireplace is not usable as a fireplace. It just fills our house up with smoke and does little in the way of warming. So i cleaned it out, nicely wadded up the extra Christmas lights we have, bought the cinnamon smelling pine cones, dug wood out of our fire pit in the backyard and whala my newest Christmas masterpiece. It is homey and festive looking. i might even keep the white ones year-round.

Wannabees

2011-11-23T05:00:00.001-07:00

Rob's flag football team name is the wannabees. I suggested it because i thought the irony was hilarious. A bunch of guys wanting to play football. The team is made up of nine or ten guys i think. Five of those are family members. I can say for them, they just want to play football. They had nothing to prove. The season went OK. Mid-season they were losing a lot but as soon as the weather turned bad they started killing their opponents. This past Saturday was the semi-finals. They were so excited they made it and of all things, they won so they went to the final game. They played a team that killed them during the regular season. It was fun to watch them play their hearts out. The last play, my newest brother in law (red hat) saved the game by jumping up in a pack of three opponents to bat the ball away and preserve the one point lead.

The wannabees won the championship for their division.

My sister in law (wife to the game-saving bat down player) was so proud and said it was like a movie or something.
Especially with the name: Wannabees.

Good job guys

Good Times

2011-11-22T12:23:00.000-07:00

I feel like i spend a lot of time on this blog whining. Sure my sons are a challenge but i am positive everyone's kids give them a run for their money. Mischief is our middle name here so that is why it gets included so much. Besides, it makes it funnier if i try to blog about it. Sometimes it takes too much energy to be mad.

The month of november tends to get overlooked so last year i started a new tradition.
I do a thanks box.
I text everyone who we are doing thanksgiving dinner with every day of the month and ask what they are thankful for--no explanations needed. Then i write all the individual answers on paper, put in a book and bring it to thanksgiving dinner. I love it last year and looked forward to it all year.

I think it is so helpful to work on being thankful. I find at the beginning of the month sometimes it is hard to come up with things i am grateful for but at this point in the month i have so many things-specific things i am thankful for that it makes me smile and leads into celebrating the gift and birth of the Lord Jesus Christ perfectly.

I love thanksgiving.

What is that???!!

2011-11-14T14:23:00.000-07:00

We went to gygi's to get some stuff (love that store by the way) and caleb had been chewing gum. Caleb is a great gum chewer so it has never been an issue what to do with it. Early in our shopping trip he told me "get the gum" i had no idea what he was talking about and was distracted by shopping so i ignored him. Apparently to colton's peril.As I was loading colton when i saw gum in his hair. Of course i don't carry scissors so i went inside and asked some nice guy if i could borrow some scissors. He gave me some dull kids safety scissors. I proceeded to try to hold my little mover still while i took scissors to his head. The guy graciously held coltons head (while i could feel the eyes of multiple customers and workers wondering what was going on.) And out came this blob. Ironically, i didn't get that mad at Caleb. I wanted to be mad but their was no anger in me. I told him i was dissappointed in this and as i was forumilating a brilliant punishment I realized then i am being worn down. And it probably was an accident.

This mess happened during a peaceful dinner. And i didn't freak out like i thought i would have. I just moved a few things around and sighed. Rob cleaned it up-thankfully it was washable.

Yes, i am being worn down.

Family Gathering

2011-11-01T05:00:00.017-06:00

Sunday was my cousins farewell. He will be serving an lds mission in Hondouras. We are all so excited for him. We drove up to pocatello to listen to him speak and have fabulous food. I was terrified how my boys would do but they did great! It helped we could go 80 mph most of the way.

Grandma Loland, Aunt Tanna, Aunt Toni

Grandma Roma, Shane, Brooke, Brittannia

doesn't brooke look so feminine and graceful?! Brittania is 5 months pregnant. i swear. talk about unfair!

i have always envied and compared myself to these to women.i had no sisters-they were the next closest thing i had growing up. I love them and think they are beautiful!

My man and Braxton, the future missionary

Uncle Mark has his hand in front of his face.

Me, sleeping colton, and my mom who looks fabulously skinny!

Braxton and I

crud, i remember when this kid was a baby!

time flies people. we better cherish what we have.

Weekend in Pictures

2011-10-31T05:00:00.008-06:00

Another busy weekend. I will be having these until after christmas--i don't love being busy but i love being with family so it is worth it.

HALLOWEEN PARTY
Rob was in charge and he did a great job pulling our wards halloween party together. Our ward goes all out. nearly everybody dresses up and it is so much fun!!

Colton the cow. I realized as i put on the 'hoofs' that they were tights. I don't know how mothers of girls put their daughters in tights faithfully every sunday. It sucked putting them on. I had one mother assure me it wasn't very bad at all. Maybe her daughter didn't move for the process.
Aren't his eyes to die for?!

This man is taken! He looks like Tim McGraw (so someone told him)...he was shooting for indiana jones but then we just went for cowboy but no beltbuckle or overly tight jeans or cowboy boots so just a hot guy with a cowboy hat and a fabulous t-bar mustach. This man rocks my world and treats me like a queen. I am beyond lucky to be his.

Me and my little cow. I tried to be a 50's housewife. The hair took forever and it didnt' even seem that big. I ratted (backcombed?) it forever, tons of hairspray (both of which i never do/use on my hair). My arms got tired and i renewed my gratitude that i have low maintenence hair. I found these totally cute shoes too but no pic. I will likely wear them with other outfits--once i fix the heels.

like the fabulous mother i am, i didn't snap pictures of caleb. He is a monkey and i figured i coudl get awesome pictures at the trunk or treat instead. He had a blast at the party!

A BIG SURPRISE

ever had dogfood in your syrup?

well now we have.

we found this while cleaning on saturday. good thing we weren't having pancakes.

Phone Dilema

2011-10-27T10:47:00.000-06:00

i am having a dilema.
I am eligable for a new phone with verizon and all the phones i want (namely iphone) cost too much and i refuse to pay for data. I already feel like i am getting ripped off. i can't decide what to do.
It seems as time goes on their are less and less basic phone options for those of us who aren't interested in spending our hard earned cash on phones & data.
what phone do you have? Do you like it?

Conversation with Caleb

2011-10-26T11:06:00.000-06:00

K: "mom, does jesus live in the mountains? "
me: "no, he lives in heaven (pointing upwards)"
K: "In the sky?"
me: "no heaven is above the sky"
--silence--
K: "jesus hears me mom."
Me: "yes he does caleb. do you hear jesus"
K: "no"
me: "who do you hear?"
K: "not uncle jared. not uncle spen."
me: laughing..."ok K"

The Brothers

Jam-Packed weekend

2011-10-24T21:31:00.000-06:00

Loading up to go to the Maybe Farm pumpkin patch

My Men searching for appropriate pumpkins

These are my old stomping grounds. My running route took me by the Jordan River Temple every time i ran. Sunset was perfect; fields all over that i watched slowly disappear to development as i grew up. I love my home town. Maybe farms have always been around and i hope they will always be around. The geese come in the fall and eat up the leftover corn and the sound of their wings flapping and their honking forever hold magic over my heart. That and the sounds my brothers make mimicking guns and Grandpa Jack and Uncle Mark as they prepare for slaughter.

The Loot

BYU Football runs in the blood of every Hakes family member (except Kirk-he bleeds red). We were brave and took our beloved boys to their first foodball game. BYU vs Idaho State (my parents alma mater). ISU got killed and caleb learned the fight song. (ra ra rarara ra ra rarara gooooooo cougars!!). Colton was a champ and it was totally worth it! K didnt like it when i (and everyone else) cheered--apparently i was too loud.

Family Home evening was carving pumpkins, roasting seeds and eating fresh raspberries with dark chocolate. It rocked!

If you don't know this already, rob is a bit of a perfectionist with projects (he claims he "just wants this to be nice"). he carefully drew the face after he and i drew a few faces on paper and let caleb choose which one he wanted. K didnt like the feel of pumpkin innards at first but quickly acclimated (with encouragement from dad). We roasted the seeds and the boys ate them all. Rob even managed to convince K to eat raw pumpkin with him. i wanted to gag.

Finished product

(praise heaven for an awesome camera)

Conversation with Caleb

2011-10-22T05:00:00.000-06:00

Caleb had poured bacon bits in the fridge and some had spilled onto the recently-cleaned- floor.

As i am cleaning up his mess from the fridge...
me: "Caleb, can you please clean up these bacon bits?"
caleb: "ok mom"

i looked down to see him sweeping away the bacon bits with his hands under the cabinets

me: "Caleb, are you sweeping the bacon bits away?"
Caleb: "yes, i am sweeping them away so they can hide from you"

I didn't reply.

Not something you see every day

2011-10-21T11:50:00.000-06:00

I took this picture driving down the freeway. I know, not my safest or most exemplary moment. You have to admit though, this is funny, at least I thought it was funny. Not something you see every day.

Not So Silly Things

2011-10-20T05:00:00.018-06:00

Do you ever have silly things that make you think??

I do... All the time

Bless my everastling husband's heart. He is so patient with all my thinking and intense feeling. I watched Revenge last night (if you watched it you will know perhaps where some of these thoughts stemmed from). After i turned off the tv i looked and saw this picture (look at my adorable son's cheesball grin):

I couldn't help but think how grateful i am to be an honest person. Also a member of a happy family.

Sometimes i look at myself in the mirror and think "holy cow, this is my life"?!!

i still feel like the 17 year old naive girl who just met this impossibly cute, cool mysterious guy who mowed the grass while i planted flowers, picked weeds, did rain dances and spied on him.

It boggles my mind i am a mother of two children and a wife--to that guy

That hot and completely unattainable guy and all that he represented -- happiness, romance, kissing, holding hands, butterflies in my stomach and a life full of summer sunrises (only if you have experienced these repeatedly can you understand the magic of those moments)

I get funny looks when i express this sentiment but it is true it is my life; it just seems like i am living a life too good to be true. How could i be so...fortunate...lucky...blessed...loved....

It just makes my heart want to explode with gratitude and joy.

I used to think i had to have everything figured out and myself completely figured out, set up and perfected before i got married. Instead i got married at 20 years old with almost nothing figured out but a testimony of Jesus Christ and love for the man i married

That is all i ever needed.

A not so good day

2011-10-19T05:00:00.002-06:00

Are you ever embarassed by how you handle hard moments?

today i was.

lets just say i barely held on to sanity. I hate those moments--i always feel so ashamed.

Thank God Himself they are few and far between but my poor children...I am so glad they are so loving and forgiving. I will work to be more like them.

This song brought peace to a troubled soul today.
love to all

Bear Lake

2011-10-18T09:57:00.000-06:00

Rob and I had a vacation weekend. We went up to bear lake and hung out. It was beautiful. weather was perfect, the canyon was full of colors and the moon was full and glinting off the water. We ate, ran, watched modern family and listened to cougar football. The boys stayed with my parents and supposedly they were good.

Yesterday was a vacation hangover day. I am still super tired--i am getting far less sleep than i did on vacation and i am resisting cleaning my house. The boys are tired too.

It was soooooo completely worth it!

I was giddy with happiness the whole trip. Being relieved from the responsibilities of motherhood for a couple of days was exactly what i needed!

For my dad

2011-10-14T11:39:00.000-06:00

When i was in college i took a nutrition class. I aced it and loved it! It was too late to change my major and i was afraid i would fail miserably at the chemistry classes it required. I now regret that descision. Because of that class and learning i was good at understanding nutrition i took other classes. My dad and i are famous for our fast-paced-discussions and nutrition chats naturally fell into our repertoire. One question we have always had is all sugar created equal?
i am beginning to research more about food, chemicals and man-made alterations to our food and i received a perfectly timed email from Dr. Mercola this morning. I will only include the following tidbits. If you want to read the whole article go here

A Calorie is Not a Calorie...

Dr. Lustig, a Professor of Clinical Pediatrics in the Division of Endocrinology at UC San Francisco, has been on the forefront of the movement to educate people about the health hazards of sugar, and I highly recommend viewing his presentation, The Trouble with Fructose, above. He's a compelling speaker and does an excellent job of laying down the facts in an easy to understand manner.
One of the primary problems with fructose is that it is isocaloric but not isometabolic, meaning that while you can have the same amount of calories from fructose or any other nutrient, including glucose, the metabolic effect will be entirely different despite the identical calorie count. This explains why calorie counting doesn't work. You simply have to take the quality or source of the calories into account in order to successfully lose weight.
Fructose metabolism is quite different from glucose (dextrose) metabolism in that it places the entire burden on your liver, and this accounts for many of its devastating health effects. Furthermore, people consume fructose in enormous quantities these days, which has made the negative effects that much more profound. Without getting into the very complex biochemistry of carbohydrate metabolism, it is important to have a general understanding of how your body handles these sugars.
Below is a summary of the main differences between glucose and fructose metabolism, which explains why I keep repeating that fructose is by far the worst type of sugar there is:
After eating fructose, 100 percent of the metabolic burden rests on your liver. But with glucose, your liver has to break down only 20 percent.
Every cell in your body, including your brain, utilizes glucose. Therefore, much of it is "burned up" immediately after you consume it. By contrast, fructose is turned into free fatty acids (FFAs), VLDL (the damaging form of cholesterol), and triglycerides, which get stored as fat.
The fatty acids created during fructose metabolism accumulate as fat droplets in your liver and skeletal muscle tissues, causing insulin resistance and non-alcoholic fatty liver disease (NAFLD). Insulin resistance progresses to metabolic syndrome and type II diabetes.
Fructose is the most lipophilic carbohydrate. In other words, fructose converts to activated glycerol (g-3-p), which is directly used to turn FFAs into triglycerides. The more g-3-p you have, the more fat you store. Glucose does not do this.
When you eat 120 calories of glucose, less than one calorie is stored as fat. 120 calories of fructose results in 40 calories being stored as fat. Consuming fructose is essentially consuming fat!
The metabolism of fructose by your liver creates a long list of waste products and toxins, including a large amount of uric acid, which drives up blood pressure and causes gout.
Glucose suppresses the hunger hormone ghrelin and stimulates leptin, which suppresses your appetite. Fructose has no effect on ghrelin and interferes with your brain's communication with leptin, resulting in overeating.
Interestingly enough, glucose has been found to further accelerate fructose absorption, so when you MIX glucose and fructose together, you absorb more fructose than if you consumed fructose alone! This is yet another important piece of information for those who want to make a better effort at controlling their weight.
Anyone who still tries to tell you that "sugar is sugar" in an effort to defend high fructose corn syrup is seriously unaware of the current research, which clearly demonstrates that there are major differences in how your body processes these sugars. The bottom line is: fructose leads to increased belly fat, insulin resistance, metabolic syndrome and diabetes, along with a long list of associated chronic diseases.

Welcome back to my world!

2011-10-13T05:00:00.005-06:00

Hellooooo yogurt!

I have missed your creaminess desperately. Thankfully baby colt is just fine with me eating you and all your delicious dairy cousins. In fact, he is doing even better in the pooping department thanks to you (i think).

I have missed all things dairy desperately but It was totally worth every bit of sacrifice and longing. And now i can appreciate it with a whole new perspective. To anyone who is going without dairy for whatever reason, if you need someone to empathize, i am here for you!! I also have extra soy milk i can't drink--it grosses me out now. Hopefully in time i will get over it.

Sneek Peak

2011-10-12T05:18:00.001-06:00

I know these aren't the same fan however the plain white vs the color is exactly what is going on. I am painting calebs bed and the letters that spell his name. I was worried it would turn out clownish but then i realized "hey! this is a 3 yr olds room. It should be colorful and fun." here we go!

School Field Trip: Wheeler Farm

2011-10-11T13:37:00.000-06:00

Our neighborhood preschool consists of five boys. Today was a fieldtrip to wheeler farm. The boys were in heaven!! Thanks Shauna

Caleb actually fed this horse some hay. First time ever-usually he is too nervous. I was so proud. :)

Caleb and Harvey takin' off. they didn't know where the group was going so off they went. so fun to see friendships form and how the boys behave in a group.

This is stef aka. superwoman. She took on the ducks with her 6 month old baby on her chest. I was too chicken. The kids were enthralled for about ten minutes or so then they got nervous. Watch out for these ducks and geese--they are not afraid of humans, in fact they are likely to chase you down to get food.

Clark has his hands on his ears. Colin, caleb and annilese got nervous. See the red speck near the pond...that is harvy. He herded the ducks and geese like a champ--no fear!

Caleb and colin and annilese were quick to run from thing to thing and i ended up trying to keep up with them. Caleb and Colin were trying to move this wagon. not sure what annilese is doing.... Ü

Isaac. I meant to get him and his mom in this shot instead he is on the very left side. He didn't seem to be bothered by the geese either.

All the kids enthralled with turkeys. I wondered if these are thanksgiving turkeys. I decided right then that they look good but i don't want to have to be involved with butchering them. I probably would have made a horrible pioneer.

This was so much fun. After we went to the huge park on the south side of wheeler farm and let the kids play. All us moms chatted and took care of our babies. We all have babies. crazy but we live in an area where babies come in waves and we welcome them all in the neighborhood!!

Best time of year to stare out windows

2011-10-08T13:44:00.001-06:00

I have been busily hunkered in at home cleaning, watching movies (and curious george), cooking (failed bread attempt and delicious cookies) and staring out the windows. Friday, i didn't get ready until 2pm! you would never know i have spent so much time on my house if you came over. pshaw

This weather puts me in such a calm, happy mood so i don't care much.

It is indescribable for me although i will try.

It is almost as if i can see the cold although the snow on the mountains definitely assists in that. I pull out old sweats and greet them as old friends. It feels like yesterday i was doing this, fully pregnant and happy then too. Now i am bundling up my beloved boys, and enjoying the pink on my cheeks as the cold kisses me like an old european friend.

Calebs clothes from this past winter still fit--i silently thank God Himself every time K puts something on and it fits for now. The updating of the wardrobe every season for Caleb puts a dent in my bank account and jealously in my heart. I want an excuse--like i grew (or shrunk) enough to happily need new clothing. Nevertheless, i will be content dreaming about the perfect winter hats they once had at target. I didn't buy them because i have a beautiful baby instead of a perfect hat. Instead i put on my fourteen year old sweats and glory that i can still fit into something i had when i was 14. What does that say? was i fat at 14 or were they just really big on me then and i can't remember that detail now?

The light of this time of year leans heavy to blue and blue is my favorite color.

I will be painting my family room thundercloud blue this winter. Right now i will be painting furniture in calebs room (including a small dresser this color. Go bold or go home right? wait...i am at home! (lam-o attempt at something funny) Realistically i am fighting off depression that results in a monochromatic tan house. And no, accents aren't enough. Tan furniture, walls and carpet are drowning out all that is alive and fun and replacing it with boredom and a complete lack of creativity. Thanks to pinterest and the nieniedialogues i am reclaiming my creativity with a vengeance.

hopefully rob will appreciate it.

Trust me i will have before and after pictures.

Yesterday i played in the rain

2011-10-06T11:02:00.000-06:00

It has been since high school that i played in the rain. caleb and i went outside, rolled up our pants and splashed in the cold puddles and windy rain. Our feet turned impossibly pale white from the cold. It was delightful. I spent yesterday in sweats, today too. I am going to make bread and soup and possibly something warm and gooey for dessert.

so it is with a full happy heart i welcome jack frost.

dear jack:
every year i look forward to your arrival.The cold tile and toilet seat in my bathroom tell me you have arrived. I love seeing my breath in the morning air. I look forward to needing sweats and slippers to keep me warm while i drink my hot cocoa. The snowy-sleet out my gigantic family room window just makes me smile. I love having reasons to cook warm, comforting, calorie filled food. Thank you jack, you are a welcome guest at my house. Hunker in and stay a while.
love
jill

Alpine Loop redux

2011-10-04T20:29:00.000-06:00

I haven't driven the alpine loop since i was a young girl. It was breathtaking. I drove, as i usually do, and the road is very narrow. I was making rob nervous but we enjoyed the drive! So, if you have time, go and enjoy. We drove while we listened to sunday afternoon session of General Conference and our house was being bombed for bugs. Spiders really. Huge spiders. eeewww.

weekend was stellar

2011-10-03T11:02:00.000-06:00

We watched general conference this weekend. It was fabulous!

staying home all day and having rob around all day yesterday was dreamy.

Drove the alpine loop (pics tomorrow) was breathtaking.

I am achy and tired and hope for a nap today. The outlook is not good.

Ü

Hugs....

Facts About Us (rob)

2011-09-29T09:50:00.000-06:00

We met in the year 2000. I was technically 16 (it was a month before my birthday) and Rob was 17.We both worked at a golf course.

He has always been stunningly handsome. I didn't figure the girly things of life [purses, makeup (beyond mascara), loving skirts] until we had been married a little while.

Rob loves football. You already know he plays on saturdays with his team The Wannabees but we watch every BYU game we can and any other college football game on tv. He is a third generation Y fan.

He loves to eat. He has slowed down as he has 'aged' but man-oh-man can he eat! The stories of his teenage years has me fearing for when our boys are teens.

He is a perfectionist when it comes to house projects. Anything he makes is sturdy, looks good and is well made!

He is a dedicated family man. He works a ton to provide for our family. We always knew we wanted me to stay home with our kids and he knew he needed a good job to allow for that.

He excells at anything he puts his mind to (school, work, church callings, loving me).
It brings me joy to support this man in any way i can.

I am a Mother

2011-09-29T05:00:00.001-06:00

We spent time this afternoon playing outside in the dirt, eating popsicles, talking to friends and family, riding scooter and enjoying the perpetual summer. while i can't wait for my favorite season to really begin this warmth is wonderful.

Yesterday colton spent time investigating this shoe. It was hilarious to me-he just kept staring, touching and turning it over and over. Caleb never did this (as far as i can remember) so it completely surprises me when i seem Colton patiently do something. Isn't he perfect?!

This is during Caleb's popsicle party (outside eating popsicles). We have had them almost every day this summer. I think we have gone through at least three boxes of otter pops.

Today my boys couldn't get enough of me. Colton wanted nothing more than to be in my arms and Caleb was attached to my hip.

It was heavenly.

This is Caleb's 'cheese' face.

At the craft store today he listened, stayed by me and was so good! I realized i never thought the day would come i wouldn't have to confine him to a stroller or cart for fear he would demolish everything in his path.

And it came.

Today.

It felt like a slap (maybe a well-placed punch) upside the head.

WHAM your firstborn is growing up

WHAM you are growing up

WHAM--"make sure you remember this Jill"

Colton and I cuddled while i fed him and i cherished every moment.He then relaxed in my arms before i put him to bed tonight.

Caleb fell asleep curled into my body with one arm around me. Instead of taking him to bed i let him sleep with me for a few minutes and savored how his little body felt next to mine. It reminded me of when he was an newborn and used to sleep so soundly on my chest.

When Rob came to put him to bed he didn't want to let go of me.

I smiled.

I need your advice: I can't figure out how to put my pictures side by side rather than having them cascade vertically down my post. I have a pc--don't know if that makes a difference. Thanks!!

Fall Color, a Moose and a million kids

2011-09-27T11:12:00.000-06:00

Going up Big Cottonwood Canyon. Oaks turning red. It is far more majestic in person! Take the kids and go!!

Quakies turning yellow

This is the moose. Can you see the dock on the very left? The moose was probably 25 feet from the boardwalk at Brighton Lake. Since i have seen movies of moose attacks and spent time in Island Park (35 miles outside yellowstone park) where they roam freely i am well acquainted with the dangers of moose. Everyone else up there were taking pictures and oogling. I was waiting for it to charge. Call me a doomsdayer but i wasn't going to wait for it to come after me and my babies. I don't have any pictures of the millions of kids but there were two school buses parked in the parking lot. Hopefully that creates enough of a mental picture of the amount of people there. Ironically, i thought it would be dead because it was a monday mid-morning.

I kept colton in his carseat (which he hates) because i was worried about him getting cold. When he was born and taken to his doctor (weighing 5 lbs) the doc was very clear in telling me not to let him get cold-it would waste his energy on staying warm rather than growing. Since he was so small, i was paranoid about him not growing. I still worry about that, he seems so small to me, so i try to keep him bundled if it seems the least bit nippy outside.

Aren't his eyes to die for?!

And my precious, strong-willed Caleb. we had so much fun wandering around the lake, looking for ducks, feeding them with rocks (didn't work so well), looking for dragonflies and wondering what every other person was doing up their.

I saw this and had to take a picture.

Reminds me how so many times this is all we can see of our lives. A little bit of the path, one single bend, sometimes nothing at all. Everything else is taken on faith and hope in a Supreme Being who directs the universe and loves us--you and me--beyond that which we are able to imagine.

I am honored to be on this journey. I believe that is what life is...a journey filled with beauty, joy and mind-blowing wonder. Thank You Lord for this privilege.

Can't wait till christmas

2011-09-26T14:31:00.000-06:00

So i am considering doing a 'homemade christmas''

unfortunately i have no idea how to do this for men and boys. If i had girls, i think it would be 1000 times easier. (maybe??) Anyway, i could really use any ideas you have.

If you are on pinterest, pin them and i will follow you. (not on pinterest? give me your email and i will invite you)

Thanks a million!

tomorrows post will be about our field trip to brighton lake, a moose and a million kids.

Women's Conference

2011-09-25T05:00:00.000-06:00

Twice a year our church has a conference where we receive instruction from our Prophet and his apostles. Once a year their is a Women's Conference where the women of the church receive instruction unique to their responsibilities in the church. Usually this i participate in this meeting from the confort of my couch watching a rebroadcast or by reading the printed word later. This time around my beloved mother got us tickets and we went and participated. The music was inspiring as were the messages.

Mom, it was a wonderful evening. Thank you!
Yes folks, this is my beautiful mother!

Break Time

2011-09-24T05:00:00.003-06:00

Friends, i have to say i love having a camera that works. I love the picture of Caleb in the red circle (at Target). It just looks cool.
Caleb got to spend the day with his cousin Keeley yesterday. It was so nice for me. I love my boys but colton has been a sleepy growing boy and i got some much desired self/girly time. As a mother of boys i forget to give myself girly time. Tonight i am going here with my beloved mother. I will get to listen, take notes and generally enjoy worship and instruction.

caleb picked out my shoes. It was between these and teva sandals. I usually leave those type of decisions (when i can't decide) to Rob but Caleb did great and it was so nice to have the help.

Post 100

2011-09-22T22:13:00.000-06:00

This is how we spent tuesday afternoon. I have found Cars marshmallows at target. Caleb loves to set them up on his cars mat and play. We have to send the dog out so she doesn't eat them while we play.

Gassing up Mqueen. Caleb doesnt' know how to play alone yet (ever?) so we play together. I keep telling myself this will help him be a more secure adult. Who knows if that is mumbojumbo but it sounds nice. And truth be known, despite the effort it requires, i really enjoy it. I enjoy pulling out my imagination, dusting off my creativity and prentending.

Caleb figured out how to take pictures so every time i pull out the camera he wants to take pictures. He did pretty good for his first time. Aren't my muscles pathetic?! HA.

The babe waking up. He is not attached to his binkey, unlike his older brother was. He is most content when he is on my hip. And beginning to learn to crawl. Mentally, he hasn't totally figured out "hey, i want to go here and i CAN." I am so glad. I am not ready for mobility for him. I am positive that is when i will lose the remaining shreds of my sanity. It has been a rough week and half. My beloved children need/want me intensely and i frequently feel overwhelmed. I consistently work to remind myself one day they won't want me anymore -- and to cherish their undying love demonstrated in this way while i have it.
Sometimes...even the reminders aren't enough to sustain. But i love them and i will happily sacrifice myself for them for i am a mother. Their Mother.
What an honor.

This morning i found a dead fly in my blender

2011-09-20T09:46:00.000-06:00

Yes, if you just read and reread my title, i did in fact find a dead fly in my blender this morning. I poured in my rice milk to start making my morning shake and i saw a black floatie. At first i thought it was a flax seed but it was way too big and black for a flax seed. I did my double take and bam...dead fly.

be comforted...i didn't drink it. I dumped it out and washed thoroughly.
I know...eeeewwww

I started singing "i know a lady who almost drank a fly" to my boys.

Baby Caleb

Colton

Hakes Family Dinner

2011-09-19T10:16:00.000-06:00

With so many beloved people in the hakes family Momma Hakes decided to do dinner monthly. Here is september's dinner:

Games with Aunt J

Braylie eating dad's belt

Miles checking out Caleb's face. I can't wait until colton is big enough to play more with caleb. When miles and colton are older...we all are in for it. Colton had that doll...not sure why.

Dinner action shot. Pappa Hakes asked me to warn him next time i take a pic. At dinner Pappa Hakes told the story of the plane falling from the sky 12 inches away from the wall of the elementary school he teaches at. Actually, the wall it fell outside of was the wall between him, his lunch and the great outdoors. We all concluded Angels helped the plane fall perfectly so it didn't hurt anyone. No small miracle since there were children outside playing. So glad you were protected Pappa Hakes.

Braylie and Colton talking. Usually this is how Mark and I are able to eat dinner. It doesn't last super long but it does let us get some dinner. Ü
I love that colton has cousins so close in age (braylie is 2 weeks older than him; miles is 3 months older). We all look forward to them being good friends.

Dads and babies. From left to right: Mark and Braylie. Cody and Miles. Rob and Colton

I love family dinners and i love my family. I feel privileged to be a member of the Hakes Family. I love our conversations, the food and all the people.

Happy Friday!!

2011-09-16T12:04:00.000-06:00

I just had the most perfect run. I didn't get overly winded, perfect pace. Gabby listened and didn't bark too much. The kids were content. The view of the wasatch mountains was spectacular. I wore my favorite green tank top and my hair down. I felt my hair bounce around my shoulders as i ran. it was perfect running weather-probably high 60's low 70's. There were blue-gray almost rain clouds in the sky. The sun was hidden behind the clouds. There was a mild breeze--enough to make me work when i ran into it.

I listened to this song on my ipod three times

I only run two miles. I am slow. But i smiled the whole time.
have a beautiful friday!!

I am looking forward to tomorrows Wannabee's Game and the BYU v Utah game.

Pictures and Thoughts

2011-09-15T06:00:00.001-06:00

no makeup.
undone hair.
feelin dorky
I posted it here because i have very few pictures of my mother as a young mother...i want my children to know what i looked like when i was young (yes, i think nearly 30 is young). And that despite my insecurities, i love being me.

K wearing our neighbor's (Abby) jacket because it was cold and i was under-prepared. Actually, Rob took K (my nickname for my caleb) to the game so he was under-prepared. Abby was hungry because her dad was under-prepared. [You know on The Office episode when Jim and Pam get married and Michael is sitting behind Pam's mom and askes her if she has any food and she gives him a weird look and michael says to her "you're a mom, i thought you'd have food". That is me. I almost always have something in my bag. It isn't always delectable but its food.] I had oyster crackers to offer poor Abby. She took them because she is nice but i don't think she ate any. Poor girl. I will be better prepared next time.
yes, i watch the office a lot.

Wannabees sporting their new team shirts. They lost their first game this past weekend. Go bees!

This is in my mom's pantry. My brother Jared is the one in the blue. they are reading books to caleb in the pantry. When my brothers and I were young and off-track we'd occasionally hang out in the pantry during the day because it was dark in there and we could turn on the flashlight. If a trip to Idaho, where all our extended family lives, was coming up, we'd discuss sleeping and playing schedules with the cousins. I dont' remember what else we'd talk about. We did this here until the three of us outgrew the pantry, then we moved to my walk-in-closet downstairs. I was in the seventh grade then. It only happened a few times there and then we outgrew the whole tradition. Glad to see it passed along to the next generation

We were all mesmerized by a documentary about the building of the 9/11 memorial. See how Rob is standing watching...this is how he tends to watch tv. Especially sports.

This is my kitchen cleaned (all the dishes on the left are clean) and ready for me to wake up, smile and text my gratitude. Rob did this for me. I was playing with Caleb, watching tv and doing leg exercises to get rid of knee/hip pain. He brought us licorice with a smile on his face. I woke up and had tears prick my eyes. His dedication to taking care of me and helping create an environment of peace is ... wonderful. I actually nicknamed him Superman after we got married. He is one incredible husband. I feel like a lucky woman. So thanks hun. You make my heart soar ;)

R & R

2011-09-13T12:27:00.000-06:00

I sent caleb to our neighborhood preschool fieldtrip with Tiff (thank you!!) so colton could sleep. It was so quiet i didn't know what to do. It was weird. Nobody yelling "MOM" at the top of their lungs (even though i told him i was going to the bathroom). Nobody yelling "MOM more George" (curious george). Nobody yelling "MOM" just to see where i was.

This morning...i had quiet.

In my head, i frequently hear "take some time to yourself" or "you need a break" "you deserve time away from your kids...look at all you deal with" These are the moments where my heart doesn't seem to have enough room for all the love, compassion, kindness, patience and ...goodness that are required of me as a mother (the kind of mother i want to be). In these moments i can feel my heart expanding, tearing really. But the hugs, kisses, and quiet moments with my little men on my lap--these heal, enlarge and change my heart.

But this morning, i gave in to the call to "take time for myself."

It was nice. I had a long mental list of all the things i could do but instead i sat down in my favorite comfy reading chair and stared out the window. I read blogs. I cuddled colton when he eventually woke up. Toys are still strewn about. My bed needs to be made. But i have peace in my heart and that my friends is the thing to fight for.

Enjoyable Show

2011-09-12T11:29:00.001-06:00

My dear sister-in-law (of one year--congrats to her and my brother) showed me and episode of this show two weeks ago and Rob and i have watched a few episodes. It frequently makes me laugh. This may not be a popular opinion but i don't appreciate the gay couple. I believe marriage and child rearing is between a man and a woman. I still enjoy the show and am looking forward watching this upcoming season.

On a totally different subject:
I want to say i am proud to be an American. I spent time reflecting yesterday of the 9/11 tragedy and what the subsequent decade has brought us as a country (as well as personally). I love our constitution, country and the hope for the future.

Wannabee update:
First loss of season. The team wasn't in their division so they are still undefeated in their division.
go bees!

Hello to peace

2011-09-09T06:00:00.002-06:00

I live in a microcosm.
I have my beloved other half. My first son and my second son. a dog. I have parents and siblings.
This is what i consider my world. This is where i focus my efforts. Sometimes my efforts are pitiful (lazy days). Other days (like saturday) i am superwoman (6 loaves bread, 4 loaves banana bread, batch spaghetti sauce, fresh peach pie, 3 football games).

In terms of an outsider looking in, i don't make a very big difference in society in general. I am probably viewed by some as a woman who has no opportunity and who is sentenced to a life of drudgery. To these people i say the following:

I am happy. I desire this life-since i was 17 years old.

You may say i am deluded, i had no choioce, some mumbojumbo about religious expectation, culture, or any number of socioeconomic excuses.

I want the life i have. I have carefully cultivated what i have and willingly sacrifice myself for the good and benefit those around me.
I write this because i feel like i have to justify my choices to a nameless, faceless someone pointing a finger at another underprivileged housewife. Silly and stupid, i know.
so farewell to weird guilt.
hello to peace.

Natures Bounty

2011-09-08T09:33:00.000-06:00

We have a peach tree. Rob grew up with one so when we moved into our house, one of the first orders of business was to figure out a place to plant a peach tree. Yesterday has harvest day. The peaches were amazing!! So ripe, with the first juicy bite, the skin could peel off. They taste better than any store peach you have ever tried. I promise. We froze a bunch of the peaches last night--the ones the bugs and birds had started into. The rest are for eating, sharing and then we will go from their. We also have an apple tree. Regretably Rob forgot to spray for bugs so the apples we do have are inundated with worms.

This is our corn. Yes, it is very few but Rob didn't think we would get enough to eat. Thankfully i was able to convince him to plant anyway and we were both surprised. It has been so fun to have our garden this year. It didn't do nearly as well as it has done in the past but we had fun anyway. Thank you to my darling Mr. Wonderful for making it possible for us to have one.

Catching Up

2011-09-07T15:34:00.000-06:00

I finally got a new camera. Panasonic DMC-FH27. I have no idea of the techy info but it will take pictures of subjects in motion and not come out blurry and it will take pictures in low light. So i am thrilled. These pics are from it.

Last night was the Wannabees second game. They won by one point. It was a hard-fought game and i loved talking with all the girls who showed up. Here are some Pics.

Caleb helping uncle Spen get ready to play

A little pass to warm up

I think that is eric in the blue-for now until we get our team shirts the boys wear blue.

Yep, that is my man in the blue

Caleb and Noah Playing hard. we had the hardest time keeping them off the field. Finally we had Noah's dad show the boys the "pokey shoes" (cleats) and told the boys they would get ran over with pokey shoes if they didn't stay off the field. That seemed to help. :)

Fun at Target

2011-09-03T07:00:00.000-06:00

We needed to go shopping at target today and found a random endcap with the cutest boy stuff. I wanted to buy this hat so bad just he would likely wear it once and trample it instead so i decided not to get it.

Irresistible

I love this hat. I have had my eye on it for a while and every time i walk by i dream...So hard for me to justify buying it though. why is that?

September is Here!!!

2011-09-02T11:34:00.000-06:00

People...september is here!

Sorry to state the obvious but from here to January 1 is my favorite time of year and i tend towards gushing.
The air starts to cool down (like this morning...perfect for running!). I get the cooking bug-soups, breads, stew and homegrown goodness.The outdoors and mountains call my name like the sirens calling sailors of old. Darkness descends earlier and earlier encouraging me to come inside and bring my family with me and snuggle in blankets, wear sweats, Read books, watch movies, shows, football and eat delicious food. Oh my dear friends, my heart swells with gratitude as the weather cools down.
I hope you enjoy the weather also and i get to enjoy it with you.

Cabellas

2011-08-31T15:15:00.000-06:00

We went and captured my neice and took her to cabellas to check out fish, bears, lions, zeebras and a bunch of other stuff. I am sure i was quite the sight at the store with these two and my baby. They were so good!! We bought fish food and they fed the fish and we explored. Cabellas got some new animals in the big game room and they were cool! Caribou with a wolf chasing them and some african animals i've never seen. Caleb insisted on wearing his hard hat. It made all the passerbys smile.

They were working hard on being careful every time the cart moved. Keeley and Caleb help each other focus in times like these so it was great to have them help each other listen to mom/aunt jill.

The three kiddos. I tell you what, my camera never ceases to make me mad. They were holding still for this picture!! Regardless of my woes, we had fun.

Happy Keeley and the fish tank

This is how i spent part of my afternoon (10 minutes worth). It was nice and calming. I was so ornery yesterday because i spent the day cleaning and i always get ornery when i have to clean. I get so annoyed at the whole world even though nobody has done anything more than live in our home. :)

Instead

2011-08-30T12:16:00.001-06:00

I feel ornery and whiney so instead of bogging you down with my "woes" enjoy this video:

Introducing The Wannabees

2011-08-29T09:48:00.000-06:00

Ladies and Gentlemen i give you......The Wannabees!

Last year Rob subbed on a men's flag football team and decided he wanted to be on his own team. So this year he has put one together and i managed to convince him to name it The Wannabees. He has one brother and two brother-in-laws playing with him so our whole family turns out for the events. There are some friends and their wives come too...its turning out to be a family/friend affair. I ordered team tshirts and decided the "team mom's" need matching shirts too. LOL The angry bee (see left) is our team logo.
I figure it is far more fun to make it a party than be annoyed he is gone on saturdays. We all love football and lets face it, us girls will spend our time chatting, watching the children and cheering our husbands and friends on when someone else starts cheering.

These are the Wannabees distracted cheerleaders

Projects from the non-projecty

2011-08-28T09:08:00.001-06:00

I was never a big believer in bumpers. With Caleb i was paranoid about him not being to breathe if he got his face in it. We just dealt with his legs getting caught in the slats. Colton has been a little different. The same paranoia existed until now since he can roll around on his own. But his legs were getting caught in the slats of the crib. Bad enough he was getting bruises on his upper thighs so instead of getting turned into DCS (department of child services) for I decided to weave blankets i had to prevent it. This only lasted until he moved around. Thus this weaving idea budded and this is the creation. And yes my friends, i managed to sew this!

Sorry for the pic quality, i was holding a fidgety colton. Instead of having a high tec way to tie this off, i had enough material to tie a square knot. It probably is best though because i was able to get it nice and tight.

Now for the fun stuff. Friday afternoon was taking forever to pass, it was way too hot to go outside and play so i braved the inevitable mess and pulled out the paints with Caleb. He did well and it managed to entertain him for 30 minutes. Miraculous. It was an exercise in restraint for me, i was anxious the whole time. I think i managed to fake him out that i was relaxed though. :) The pictures dried and turned out cool!

Happy painter and the entertained brother.

"Artwork"

The paint plates before caleb decided to mix all the colors and make it look like brown puke.

Praise heaven for something that entertained my son on such a loooonnnggg afternoon. I can't wait until this ridiculous summer heat fades. Every year, at this point in the summer i get very ornery with summer and want banish it forever (well, next year anyway).

Spiritual enlightenment here

Miracles

2011-08-26T11:29:00.000-06:00

Yesterday i was driving toward the south interchange and all of a sudden the freeway lit up with brake lights. We all are slamming on our breaks and my stomach starts clenching preparing for impact...thankfully this never happened. But we did run into a wall of water-seriously! as i looked in my review mirror i saw a little white Mitsubishi Eclipse spun around, backing out of the lane and onto to the shoulder. I looked next to me and the CR-V that hit it (i could tell because the front fender was bent in) was pulling over. The accident happened right next to me. One lane to my right and two cars behind. Traffic started to back up behind the accident and i tried to get out of there.

Unfortunately the wall of water hit and i couldn't see the road so i carefully pulled over onto the flooded shoulder to wait. Then the hail came. It was hitting the windows so hard i grabbed Caleb (who sits behind me in the car) out of his chair and had him come sit with me so i could protect him with my body should the hail break through the window. Then it slowed down enough i thought i could drive so i had caleb get in his chair and started to drive but i had to pull over again. This happened one more time before i made it home to the safety of our carport.

We came inside and prayed to say thank-you to our Heavenly Father for keeping us safe.

I realize not everyone believes in miracles.
I believe in miracles and i believe we were kept safe yesterday by God.

Basketball Wrap Up

2011-08-25T11:14:00.000-06:00

On the way to basketball, getting his socks. We were at a stoplight when i took this picture. In my head i heard our longstanding inside joke "Safety First!!!"

Grandma and Grandpa Sota showed up to watch Caleb's moves on the court and bummer, no teacher. We tried to convince Caleb to still show his moves but it didn't happen. (sorry for the crappy pictures. POS camera)

Grandma and Grandpa Sota waiting for Caleb to show his moves. They discovered Colton isn't quite as interesting as Caleb...yet. Ü

Grandpa Sota playing with colton's hands. Love my camera....

Caleb was picking his nose and i tried my best to catch it but i got this instead. It was a funny moment: trying to convince Caleb to show his moves and he is diggin for gold. As soon as we left, he threw a big fit about leaving and wanting to show his moves to Grandma and Grandpa Sota.
Go figure.

We learned a few valuable lessons with this pre-school sports program.
As soon as Caleb got the hang of one sport the month was over and he had to move on. One sport at a time is best.
Caleb is decent with his feet coordination (soccer).
Caleb HATES tag
He loved playing sports and the intro showed us he is too young but playing at home will be best--since he needed Rob around to help channel his focus.

Overall we had fun, he had fun and we probably won't do it again. We will wait a bit and then have him pick a sport. In the meantime we will play at home.

Balance.....

2011-08-24T17:07:00.001-06:00

In my current study of life i am often struck by the importance of balance...in. everything. !

I don't know about you, but it doesn't come easy to me. I have tried all kinds of ways of finding balance:

Working out daily (got addicted and it turned out not so good).
No sugar (got easy, i got lazy and started eating sugar ALL the time).
No dairy (gotten used to it; i am worried how this will turn out).
Not working out (fat legs was the result).
Praying daily (good relationship with God. Got lazy (again?!) and had a not so good relationship).
Reading spiritual materials daily (got lazy (again?!) missed out on knowledge and God's influence in my life).
Cooking dinner daily (got too many leftovers so i stopped, ran out of momentum).
Baking regularly to expand my repertoire (got a bigger butt).
Cleaning regularly (hated it, so i got lazy, had a dirty house, uck)

notice a pattern...i get lazy. It takes so. much. effort. to stay on top of being balanced. Just when i think i am doing pretty good, something falls apart.

So i am a bit mystified how to find and hold onto balance. And beat the "i dooon't waaaaaant toooooo" voice in my head.

Oatmeal

2011-08-23T13:48:00.000-06:00

Caleb wanted Oatmeal for lunch today. I love oatmeal however i do not like the mushy aspect so i have a remedy. It was actually taught to me by my beloved husband:

I drain my oatmeal

I put brown sugar & cinnamon on it. If we are lucky we cut up an apple and throw some walnuts on it too. great way to start the day.

happy days

love to all

Weekend in Pictures

2011-08-21T16:11:00.000-06:00

Pickin up dad from his office. Patriotic Pic

My hot date. We went to Zupas for dinner and then up to Alta to see the flowers. We got there just before the sun set so we got to see all the different ways the light hit the mountainside. Times like those make me wish i could really take pictures!

Isn't he dreamy?! Dates Rock!
so did the flowers.

My mom walked from jordan river temple to salt lake temple (20 miles) with her young women and we met her at the temple. Of course for the family photos i left my camera stashed in the stroller. I have to get over feeling dumb when asking for pictures.

Waitin for Grandma

Caleb and Dad rode the train in the free-fare-zone downtown SLC (did you know about that?) and colton and i hung out by some water fountains.

Hooray for weekends!!

I believe...

2011-08-19T12:54:00.000-06:00

I believe beauty is composed of a whole individual, not simply a face or body part.

I believe motherhood is a privileged (most of the time ;)

I believe God gave all of us our bodies as gifts.

I believe God has given us the opportunity to choose what we do with our lives. Also, the opportunity to deal with the consequenses.

I believe keeping a toothbrush and toothpaste in your purse is normal.

I believe I have a responsibility to educate myself and my children to the best of my ability.

I believe my life matters.

I beleive men don't get enough credit.

I believe nail polish and mascara are fantastically feminizing.

I believe we underestimate ourselves

I believe Jesus Christ is my personal Savior.

I believe i can make a difference in the world.

I believe the pop-culture in America is toxic.

I believe you matter.

I woke up to...

2011-08-18T10:19:00.000-06:00

I woke up to these this morning. I felt special and spoiled. My husband
rocks!!! In an effort to have clear communication and not force him to attempt to read my mind (no, he doesn't do that) i asked him earlier this week to please surprise me with flowers. I felt plenty stupid asking but i am so glad i made my wishes known. No, this does not diminish the surprise nor my feeling of being loved. He needed me to tell him this is one of the ways to make me feel special.

i have a huge grin plastered on my face every time i look at these beautiful flowers.
Thank you superman!

Dairy Free

2011-08-17T11:47:00.000-06:00

I am dairy free. Not just milk but cheese, sour cream, yogurt, goldfish crackers, ranch dressing, and ice cream.
Why you ask??
my nephew needed my milk (cause me and my sister-in-law are tight like that) and couldn't have dairy.

when i went dairy free an added bonus showed up: Colton started sleeping through the night and was happier. my nephew doesn't take my milk anymore and i have remained dairy free. I started dairy free May 6 and it has only been three months but i tell you what....it feels like a lot longer. My doctor encouraged me to stay dairy free as long as i nurse colton which will probably end up being till 1 yr old.

**sigh**

I will do anything for my children, neices and nephew. So here i am, doing something i NEVER thought i could or would do. I will say this: in my experience, it is far easier to go all or nothing (as i have done with sugar a few times) than shoot for moderation. Once i got over the detox phase (they don't tell you about that) It became easier to lose baby weight (so has being sick for a month-blah), my skin is clearer (always a plus), and i feel cleaner.

Dairy is not an easy thing to give up. probably 3/4 of prepared foods have milk in them but i feel closer to colton. The Savior teaches "loose you life and you shall discover it" and i have. sacrifice has brought forth the blessings of heaven and i have never been happier since i became a mother.

Alta in summertime

2011-08-16T13:00:00.000-06:00

I love the mountains. I haven't spent much time in them since we had Caleb. As first time parents we were so careful and leary of everything. Now that we are seasoned parents (HA!) we are much more comfortable. the Drive was awesome (would have been horrible last year though since i was sick and pregnant) and everything was a feast for the eyes!!
please forgive the abysmal quality of these pictures. They were taken with my phone as i didn't take my camera.

I drove to the upper parking lot at alta and drove up the packed dirt road to a trail head. The flowers are breathtaking and i am sure they only get better as you go farther up the canyon. I didn't take the time to go farther.
It was 65 degrees at 11:30 am and i kept pointing things out to Caleb along the way. Only thing that would have been better would if Rob had been with us.

Looking up the mountain

I felt like i was looking at the poppy fields in Wizard of Oz.

We had a great time and will be back with Rob. The fall should be exceptionally beautiful because of all the water--the colors should be extra vibrant this year.

The whole time we were up the canyon all i could think was "I feel privileged to live in and around such a beautiful place. There IS a God!!"

Power of Heels

2011-08-15T13:52:00.000-06:00

I love heels.

They make my legs look long. They make my butt look better. They make me feel sexy.

They are not for pushing a stroller or chasing fast boys.

I wear them anyway.

Dear Laundry:

2011-08-14T10:55:00.005-06:00

Dear Laundry:

You and i will never be friends.

~Jill

Scenes from my heaven

2011-08-14T10:51:00.003-06:00

My boys, my children, my gifts from God Himself.

See what i mean

Messing with Camera

2011-08-14T10:45:00.003-06:00

So i usually delete all pictures i take of myself on my camera. I am always dissatisfied. Even though i feel this way i am purposely not giving in and i am posting these. (i also think this blog is a good way to have free online picture backup).

I was curious which smile looked best: with or without teeth. My toothy smile wins out.

2011-08-14T10:41:00.002-06:00

Thank you Aunt Tanna for this wonderful blanket!! I also love that the boys are holding hands for this picture. I love my life!!!!!

Caleb's Birthday (back in may)

2011-08-14T10:29:00.004-06:00

I decided to make individual cakes this year instead of one giant cake. Caleb got to decorate his and his dads cake. I did my own. I am looking forward to this. It turned out better than i thought.

I did this over caleb's bedroom door while he was sleeping. when he woke up he got the surprise and had a blast running through his streamers.

More streamers at the end of the hall.
Happy Birthday to my caleb.

Lack of Pictures

2011-08-12T11:31:00.003-06:00

So my camera is a piece of crap. It runs on two AA batteries and if it is on for more than five minutes it dies (so it seems). If i take a picture of someone who is breathing it comes out fuzzy and it refuses to take a picture in low light. UGH!! I wanted to find a cute picture to have for this post however i don't have any. So i will begin dreaming and conniving ways to find money to spend on a camera.

Last weekend we hiked doughnut falls. Caleb hiked up and down-all by himself. It was fabulous. Colton was happy as ever in my little front papoose. It think i want to go again this weekend. Eventually we will get pictures of our little events and life will be documented better.

I have discovered that i love babies. I never did before. Sad huh? :)

I also want to sew...(yes that actually came out of my metaphoric mouth) create, decorate and make cutsie stuff. Wherever this all came from, i don't know but i am determined to embrace it. It may be a passing fancy but i am sure i will benefit from it.

love to all

National Center for Constitutional Studies

2011-06-26T15:51:00.006-06:00

Dear Friends:

I have been doing a lot of studying of our countries history of late. I have been inspired by John and Abigail Adams, more informed about FDR and am coming to understand more about the original role of religion in our country. Because of what i have learned, I want to host a seminar from the National Center for Constitutional Studies. This is one of the best ways i can think of to share the excitement, knowledge and awe i am experiencing.

It would end up costing $5-10 a person depending on how many people decide to come and likely be on a saturday. The title of the seminar is "The Making of America" and is presented in two parts:

"Developing America's Great Success Formula- 8:30am-12:00pm
This is the exciting exploration which Jefferson, Adams, Franklin,
Washington and others made in order to rediscover the key to the creation of
the first free nation in modern times. We trace their adventure from 1400 B.C.
to A.D. 1787.

Lunch Break- 12:00-12:45pm

The Perfect Plan of Liberty- 12:45pm-4:30pm
A refreshing look at the solid political and economic principles from the
preamble through the amendments to the Constitution. You learn perhaps for
the first time, how nearly every problem in America today can be solved by
restoring these successful concepts."

Here is a link to the study guide

If you have read or heard of The 5000 year leap then you are familiar with Dr. Cleon Skousen who founded the National Center for Constitutional Studies. I have long misunderstood my own countries foundation and now that i am discovering it, i want to share what i am learning. I would like to do this after the summer is over. I figure most people wouldn't be able to come in the summer.

Before i call and schedule i want to ask does this sound interesting? Would you want to come? Do you know anyone else who might be interested?

Pictures from J's wedding

2011-05-31T10:37:00.003-06:00

I thought this was funny in its opposites. I'm posing and rob is wrestling caleb. Will this kid ever slow down...even a little?
Blinded but K looks cute!
This was totally unsolicited. Keeley started holding onto aunt J's dress and of course K couldn't be left behind.
Father and Son
Happy Colton.
Cute K!
Brothers--blinded and somewhat awkard looking
Happy Family
I think i look fat in this pic but colton was just turning three months old. Aren't we our worst critics? Regardless i am honored be a mother and a wife. Somehow i feel like i have found my calling and my joy is so full with colton and caleb in my life. Rob and i have always been happy together but life is just so much more with kids.

Little Ducky

2011-04-09T16:53:00.004-06:00

So i got this outfit when caleb was born and i determined to take pictures of all my kids in it just because it is hilarious!

Ducky Outfit
Caleb about 5 weeks old

Ducky outfit
Colton 8 weeks old

These are my boys.

Photo Update

2011-04-09T16:41:00.004-06:00

Heading outside to shovel snow

Hard to believe he was born two months ago at 5.5

Please note the jeans. We are beginning our foray into caleb dressing himself. He certainly tries hard!

Cheeeeeseeeee

He loves his swing!

This is my dish crew. They keep the dishes clean and motivate me to continue cooking for them. They do an awesome job!!!

Colton Matthew Hakes

2011-02-16T13:37:00.004-07:00

I went into mild labor on February 8 at night. We managed to slow it down enough for me to sleep and the next morning the contractions kicked in. I went into the doc and after throughly checking me out and doing a fetal stress test my doctor told me we needed to deliver that day. I felt pretty dazed. I left the office and called rob to come get me. He and my sick caleb drove me down b/c the contractions were to intense for me to drive. Robs phone went straight to voicemail-twice. I called my mom and it went to voicemail. I started to cry-of course. I felt so helpless! I got in touch with my mom who helped calm me down and then i called robs work to have Dan radio him-he has nextel with direct connect for work. Of course Dan wasn't their and i end up crying on the phone and freaking everyone out. Finally, we (two other people at his work helped out) get a hold of rob, who was 2 blocks up the street-literally. Let me just say i HATE nextel!
He felt so bad. He had been staring at his phone waiting for me to call and here i am crying standing in a parking lot waiting to have a baby and my husband up the street waiting to hear the news from me. It was so dramatic for me...funny now-we could make a killer commercial with that idea!
So we ran home and met my mom who took caleb for us and packed bags and went back downtown for our baby to be born. It was really weird-surreal. I ended up having to wait for a while for the whole shootin match to get going and some of the contractions were strong-unfortunately after half a day in labor, my body had done nothing in the way of birth preparation.
So, into the OR and away we went. Rob and i didn't like the OR. It was cold, lots of steel and a little freaky. I tried hard not to think about what was going to happen to me. The spinal block felt cool at first then as it hit my upper rib cage, i tried not to panic as i focused on the fact that i could breathe, even if i couldn't feel it. Thankfully the anesthesiologist had warned me.

And out he came-my precious, teeny, tiny baby. Colton was 5 lbs 5 oz 18.5 inches long. He was in the special needs nursery the whole time and by sunday i thought i was going to die if we didn't get home. Hormonal mommy=dramatic mommy
we are home now and are working on healing. ROb's bout wtih the flu was gone enough for him to be at the hospital, but caleb started his bout the day i went into labor so he was with grandma sota the whole time i was in the hospital. Now he is finishing out his sickness and it hanging with grandma hakes and we are forever grateful for the help from our families!! Here are some phone pics for your viewing pleasure.

You Tell Me

2011-01-25T21:37:00.004-07:00

Comparison Photographs:

--> 8 months
pregnant with
baby 1

<--
33 weeks
pregnant with
Baby 2

Only One

2011-01-18T22:59:00.003-07:00

This is me 38 weeks pregnant with caleb. I feel like i look this way right now, but i'd need outside verification for authenticity. We are our own worst critics...are we not?

let me give you a preface to what you are about to read. These thoughts originated sunday. it was a day of children--i teach sunbeams (~10 kids, 3 yrs old) and the 4-5 yr olds. My partner and i are filling in for the sunbeams. Caleb is 2 1/2, rambunctious and adorable. I am 33 weeks pregnant. These facts do not add up to a particularly spiritual sunday.

I taught a lesson about how our bodies are special and essential to our progression in this life. Last night as i sat in my bath, staring at my bulging belly watching it shift and move around from colton doing whatever it is babies do in-utero i had a thought:
Only One Body
we only get one body...and i am making coltons, well my body is making it.
Pregnancy is Sacred!
Sure, its difficult! It hurts in weird ways. My sides frequently feel like they might split open, i have contractions that take my breath away (literally), my feet hurt-ache and the tingling sensation in my hands from swelling sorta freaks me out.

Despite all this, how many times do we give life...like this? All we, as women, ever discuss is the negative and discomforts and difficulty-perhaps because they are so all-consuming and seemingly everlasting...

but

it is special. Once-in-a-lifetime (or however many kids you have) special. I mean look at your kids. Watch them breathe--you did that. You, me, our mothers...we made that. Sure, it isn't a conscious making, but the two years of giving up ourselves to share our bodies with a beautiful and miraculous little parasite (think science people!)...we are amazing. Our bodies are amazing. How anyone can think we evolved from an ameoba clearly has no sense of the wonder in the mirror.

1 corinthians 3:16
Know ye not that ye are the ^atemple of God, and that the ^bSpirit of God dwelleth ^cin you?

I struggle to breathe. I can't be active because i get contractions so bad. My legs look like cottage cheese-something i don't think i have ever seen to this extent on my own body. I am planning on a c-section and for the pros it offers, i dont love the major surgery part. I envy women who get to walk around and pick up their babies right after the birth. I also have a very hard time getting pregnant and both of these boys are miracles in my book.

yet i think of the scripture above and i wonder how many more times do i get to do this: create another life, truly blossom as a woman, relish (okay okay and fear) the prospect of the future life inside me?

I am well aware of the cliche nature of this post. I know we all hear "seize the day" and "appreciate who you are" and whatever else that makes us all feel better about ourselves. But i tell you what: sitting their, watching my gargantuan belly and poking-out-belly-button shift around to the rhythm of my unborn son, grunting when he has an overly-well-placed kick; this epiphany hit hard and hit home. What i am doing matters. It isn't just some negative experience meant to bring misery to women-kind. We have the agency, the opportunity to choose how to deal with these struggles.

Do my legs still gross me out? yes. Am i petrified that i will never have flat abs ever again? oh, yes. Do i fear what the intense and overwhelming first year will bring emotionally? Oh, hell yes!

but i watch caleb run around and discover new things and smile and none of it matters. I'd die for that little one and i'd die for this unborn son. My vanity, ego and pride need to be shelved anyway.
This challenge and honor is an opportunity to rise above the base human and search for the divine within.

An update

2011-01-13T15:41:00.003-07:00

I do not have a whole lot to say however i realized it has been a very long time since i last blogged so i thought i'd update--sans photos. Sadly, photo taking is not my forte (could be my camera is a piece of crap :))

I did a thanks-book for thanksgiving. Every day in november i texted my in-laws (who we were spending thanksgiving with) and asked what they were thankful for. Everyone answered as often as they wanted, disclosing as much as they wanted and their were no obligations. Rob, and I and Caleb did it daily. Caleb was always grateful for Jesus and crackers. It was so nice to make an effort to focus on thanks-giving--literally. The focus on all we have was refreshing. I was actually sad to have it end. I put all the answers in a scrap book and took it to Thanksgiving Dinner. It was so much more than i anticipated.

Our december was pretty calm. I am not one to enjoy being busy. I ended up having a lot of contractions so i hunkered in and took it easy. My cousin had her baby at 32 weeks and all of us have had her family in our thoughts and prayers. Thus my family has been very concerned about all my contractions. After a bunch of tests we determined i am a spazy-freak (i was contracting every 20 seconds during the non-stress test. I couldn't feel most of them but every now and then they are pretty strong) but the baby is happy, healthy and thriving--and i was not at risk for preterm labor. Can't ask for much more than that!!

Christmas was wonderful, caleb got spoiled and so did i. We spent so much time with families, Rob got to go snowboarding on christmas eve-minnesota family tradition. Unfortunately i was not able to participate so my mom and sister-in-law stayed home too and we made christmas dinner. It was lovely and enjoyable. Caleb was pretty good too. Rob got 200 tulip bulbs for christmas and true-to-form rob was outside planting them two days before christmas. Caleb was outside for the whole process--dressed as warm as he could be and a pink nose to boot. But he was in heaven, our little boy LOVES working outside with daddy!

I have discovered essential oils and bought some through a friend. I have fallen in love! And even though rob is so much more hesitant (scientific really) to fall in love-he really likes them as well. I feel so empowered.

I had to do the 3 hour glucose tolerance test. I tell you what--it was easily the most awful thing ever! I can totally understand why pregnant women are not asked to fast! After 18 hours of not eating (other than the nasty glucose crap) i felt like i had been hit by a bus. I was thrown off for two days...i felt pathetic.

We are all looking forward to the arrival of our next bundle. I vacillate between being petrified of having him out of me and dying of discomfort. Caleb is pretty excited. He got a new cousin just before thanksgiving and since then he has been very aware of babies and making sure mom and baby brother are ok. Any time i make a noise of discomfort Caleb is quick to ask "mom ok?" So endearing!

Asian Potato

2010-10-16T13:34:00.002-06:00

I am always looking for good Asian food. Most of the time, i seem to find very greasy pretend food. Long has my frame of reference been Panda Express. Recently, in one of my craving-and-sick moments, i asked Rob to get us Panda for dinner. He said ok, loaded up caleb and away they went. They came home, the house filled with the smell of Panda, we loaded up our plates and i prepared for my dreams to come true as i dug in. It was good when i started eating but as i continued disappointment creeped into my soul and taste-buds. At the end i realized that even to my salt-loving-pregnant-self it was too salty. It was also very greasy and the orange chicken...i was not sure if their was chicken in it.

Perhaps, you are shouting in your head "you IDIOT!--Panda as your standard?!!" I told rob of my letdown and in a way only rob can manage he chuckled and said "i knew this would happen as i left the house but i got it so we could get this over-with" Bless his heart, he didn't want panda but he got it for me knowing i wouldn't like it! wow i feel lucky.

Now my point: i have found a new point of reference!!! Click here to see menu: Asian Potato. It is a new restaurant over on 8745 So. 700 E on the east side of the road. we went with friends last night and we each have a son the same age (one month apart) and we are both pregnant (one month apart). The boys did pretty good and our waitress was doting. Granted, we were the only group there but still...be kind, it is new. It is clean and delicious! I really liked their plates and glasses (i love dishes in general, i always check out the dishes of restaurants). Oh! and they do take-out.

I got Cashew Chicken and it will filled with veggies and real tender white chicken. It comes with steamed rice but we all wanted fried rice so they gave us a complementary order of fried rice. our friends have a talent for getting deals on things. The Cashew Chicken entree could easily feed rob and i (sayin something since i have been eating like a cow lately and rob eats a lot anyway). we got egg rolls and they were delicious! I would like to try the spring rolls next time. Rob got Orange Chicken and he let me have some...unbelievable. NOTHING like panda. You could taste the citric flavor of real orange juice...ahh it was so good!!!! And you could see big chicken pieces with a bit of breading-rather than the other way around. (wink wink panda). Oh! we shared with caleb along the way and he seemed satisfied with the food and was chatting-up the waitress. Maybe it was because she got him soda...:)

The damage:

Cashew Chicken $7.95
comes with steamed rice

Orange Chicken $7.95
comes wtih steamed rice

Ham Fried Rice $6.85
This is an entree sized plate so it fed 4 adults (2 pregnant women and 2 hearty-eating men) as a side dish.

Egg rolls 2 for $3.15
Spring rolls 3 for $3.15 (i think)

Supposedly their are buy one get one free coupons in phone books. And their are 2 $20 gift certificates for $20 on a website like citydeals.com (i don't think it is that one though)

Anyway...i would hate to see this place go out of business b/c of lack of word of mouth so i am putting my 2cents in. :) Good food! and i can't wait to go back!

I would love to know where anyone else goes for Asian Food.

If you've seen these books...

2010-09-15T10:05:00.002-06:00

hey all! i have not been able to find these books at my house. i have a tendency to loan books out and forget who i have lent them too (or i cant find them in my mess of a home 'library') SO...

if i have lent you either of these books, could you call/text me and let me know :) (isnt this pathetic!!) i want to know if they are really lost and need replacing or not.

and i want to re-read them both. :)

i will be 15 weeks pregnant tomorrow and so far it has been quite the ride. totally and completely unlike my experience with Caleb. For all of you that get sick out their from being pregnant...my heart goes out to you! Fall--really cool fall--couldn't get here fast enough! I have had it with heat and summer!! And winter! even though i can't ski this year i can't wait for winter--Robs work will *hopefully* slow down and we can enjoy being a family more.

Thankfully Caleb is a gem of a child and right now is begging me to come and do dishes with him. Who would have thought mom was avoiding chores and the kid was trying to get mom to do them :) He is super helpful, loves to clean, help make the bed, unload the dishwasher (he gets in trouble for trying to do this alone) and cook. My son LOVES to cook with me. we have a blast making things together. He loves to stir, watch water boil, help make (and eat) bread and all kinds of other foods. Even though my mom, who had (and survived) crazy-destructo-twin boys said to me yesterday "i don't know how you do it, i have never seen a child so busy" i feel lucky to have him. Somehow he is a perfect fit for our family and he keeps me from being too lazy. Although Mom--yesterday on our way home he kept sighing and saying "tired"-- Now if we could quell the high-pitch screaming...

Great News!

2010-08-12T16:09:00.003-06:00

Sorry i don't have any pictures but we are pregnant!!

We are thrilled! I am officially 10 weeks along-baby is due beginning of March and officially we only have one baby. We had an ultrasound this past monday to confirm this. I was pretty much a wreck all weekend. All i could foresee was me having to get a mini-van (no offence to mini-van drivers out their, this is a long time petty fear of mine) and going crazy as i tried to be a mother to three. As twins are part of my genetics and i am on fertility medication to get pregnant the concern is fairly substantial. We had the same scare/possibility/suspense-filled-time-period with Caleb too.

The only downside to this wonderful news is that i have been fairly sick which did not happen with Caleb. Thus the extra reason to be concerned...also, (tmi) my uterus is about twice the size of a normal woman at 10 weeks. I carry huge--Rob is comforted that the baby has plenty of space right now. He tends to worry about this-which i find so hilarious. To his brilliant science-oriented mind, it just doesnt jive that a being that started as a cell and grows in a single environment doesn't have any qualms with the alotted space. He just looks at me (he did this with caleb too) and at pictures of a baby in the womb and just shakes his head and feels bad. I find this so endearing.

This baby has taken us about 10 months to get and we are so thrilled. Caleb will be a wonderful big brother. He is a born helper and i think he is so ready for a sibling. He watches every baby he sees and at breakfast every morning, he reads a baby magazine we have--i can't tell you how cute this is. He loves to look at pictures of babies. when he kicks my belly i tell him he can't do that because their is a baby in there and he will say sorry and kiss my belly-adorable!!! Rob and i are appropriately excited and we also have our moments where we just look at each other and wonder "how will we do this?" Thankfully, being blind in experience to the oncoming challenges as parents of two, we can focus on being excited and happy and leave the worry for later. :)

Ps
Oh, i have a shameless plug for a brilliant book...
Dave Ramsey "total money makeover". Regardless of your financial situation it is a book that causes you to ask questions of yourself and be inspired to do better.

Old Farm Park

2010-06-07T14:54:00.002-06:00

Well friends, this is the best find in a long time! It basically a free water park. Well, sorta. There aren't any slides--it is like the fountain at Gateway but better. It is in the middle of a neighborhood and there is a fishing pond next door. It is off Bangerter Highway and 2700 w. It is the first left after you get off bangerter--it pops up pretty quick! Drive through the neighborhood and keep you eye out for it--it sneaks up on ya. We went on saturday and half of the people were there for a party. their weren't very many!!

It might be fun to get together a group and go during the day. Schools out there are on year-round schedule so we might be able to get it when few people are there.

Shoutout for ideas & inspiration

2010-05-28T07:53:00.002-06:00

hey everyone, my sister in law and i are redoing my kitchen cabinets. The frame of the cabinet is brown and the doors are red all with a black glaze and a satin finish. i am totally stoked about this!!!!--trust me--it looks so much better than it sounds.

BUT

I need ideas for backsplash.

I have seriously considered beadboard (no color picked out yet) however i read some opinions online saying it is an absolute pain to clean. Considering my love of cooking and my absolute detest of cleaning up my monumental messes that probably won't work for me.

Also, i love the look and ease of tile but i am not redoing the countertops yet and to redo countertops after tiling the walls would be a pain. I have dreams of making it all look like one with tile/granite backsplash and countertop--like i said...dreams. So this is an interim-type option.

so any ideas/experience you can share would be fabulous

2nd Birthday

2010-05-17T22:50:00.003-06:00

We celebrated Caleb's
second birthday (woah!) on sunday with our families. Here are a few pics.

We loved having everyone over and the gifts for Caleb. He was asking for his bubble machine all day. Thanks again! We love you all

Story: Jail pics of the dog.

2010-03-10T16:15:00.003-07:00

Every day when Rob comes home from work i ask him if he has any 'stories'. This is a long standing tradition dating back to when we first became friends ten years ago. So, today when Rob comes home, i will have a story for him. I dressed our dog in our son's clothes and made her pose for pictures. i should have put her in the red onsie however i didn't think about that till it was too late. Caleb thought this was the coolest thing ever and i am sure i will find him trying to dress gabby one day soon. All my crazy fun ideas are going to get me in trouble one day!

So for your viewing pleasure, the pictures that make my dog look like she just got arrested:

TV

2010-03-10T10:00:00.003-07:00

Caleb has never really shown much interest in tv. sometimes something will catch his eye but his short attention span ends and he is onto the next thing.

Except Barney.

We have netflix and Rob found two episodes of Barney. So every night Rob and Caleb alternate between Lets pretend with barney and On the farm. We are both sick of these episodes so i found Barney on tv and am going to dvr it. I am not sure if this is a good thing or not.
But caleb loves barney! He dances, and stares at the computer screen enraptured. It is so dang cute and today it afforded me time to wash my face and brush my teeth uninterrupted. It was refreshing! So, in the realm of kids shows to watch-even though it is over-the-top cheesy-i guess this isn't that bad.

Overnight Change

2010-01-26T12:57:00.006-07:00

Ok, i took these pictures b/c i was so excited that i finally have a nice church shirt for caleb and i thought he was so dang cute!

Then we got his hair cut today by my sister-in-law. I always thought he was cute but now...wow. He really looks like rob's kid! He also grew up. I am glad i delayed this day. I have love my little boy but now, he looks so much older-so much closer to Two than i would like him to be. :)

Ahh little boy, i love you so. Your dad is my sun and you are my moon. I could not exist completely without either of you.

Power to the women...

2010-01-16T09:57:00.003-07:00

When i was in high school i was easily bated by guy friends just with them calling me "woman" with a certain tone. Those jokes about wives only cooking or having babies-those have always pissed me off. Without knowing anything about the feminist movement, i heartily counted myself as a fringe member. Power to the women baby--equality and all that stuff.

Well, I may be rethinking my stance. Don't get me wrong, i am all about fairness in the workplace and whatnot but there is a growing trend that either exposure or maturity has exposed me to. The paris hilton commercial for a Carl's Junior hamburger is mouth-dropping offensive (if you haven't seen it, count your blessings, it is pretty much soft porn) I mean seriously--this is an ad for HAMBURGERS?! Notice what all women's halloween costumes have in common: Sex appeal. It is halloween for heaven's sake! Can't i just dress up?! just be goofy-?

Here is the issue, with all of us girls seeing everything being sold with sexy women, we think that is what we need to be like. rediculous (kudos to you if you are immune to this. I however am a bit of a weakling)

It would seem that the only thing women have to offer is being eye-candy. Now, this is not a diatribe about normal women not being seen in advertising (that is for a different day); no, this diatribe is about over-sexualization of women in general.

Rob was telling me about an add someone put on his computer as a joke...a flier for a 900 number, on the back side manifested a Carl's Junior logo. Now, i don't really care about Carl's Junior, they seem to have ample choices for examples at this moment. When Rob told me about this, i got thinking and it hit me:

women are not empowered by their sexuality-they - WE- are objectified by it.

it is all such a lie. Amazing.

So, in the name of equal rights and all that crap, women are everywhere but the only way we are everywhere is if we are beautiful/sexy. i thought we just wanted to vote.

hmmm
Somehow i think somewhere something got screwed up.

Mind you, i am not against being sexy people, heck, i love to feel sexy (don't you?!) i am arguing that it is not my defining feature. something, somewhere got out of balance.

Not dead, i promise!

2010-01-06T22:31:00.011-07:00

so i realize that i totally suck with blogging. So to spare you all my verbose tendencies, here are a bunch of pics to update you.

unfortunately the pics are in reverse order. lol
This is my pantry addition Rob made for me over christmas break. It probably adds almost double the amount of space. i am in heaven! and yes, the ladder situation was somewhat sketchy.
Chronological enjoyment of the 'first' shake with our new VitaMix (thanks mom and dad!!)

Ahhh bliss

Preparing for the adventure outside. K doesn't do very well keeping his gloves on so there are rubber bands around his wrists. dad's idea.
The christmas eve present (the tube) and first 'sledding trip'

Unfortunately i don't have any pics of our sledding hill. it is at the playground next door and this tube does great. the only down side is that it terrified caleb.

Tug-o-war with his friend Noah

Rob had to be on the watch with K. Caleb gets pretty excited with his friends and had a tendency to try to hug them but that usually means pulling, poking of eyes or holding on too long (do you remember those guys?!!) or some other disturbance of their personal space.
She just looked so content. :) i love my dog. even though she isn't exactly well socialized (my fault) she is a great play mate for caleb!
Ok. Caleb loves this. it looks like child abuse but i swear it isn't.
Going in
"Shut the door!"
Halloween. I am supposed to be a glamorous Hollywood movie star
Rob, the Construction Worker. yes, he has a fake earring. (not quite sure if you can see it).
My happy giraffe. He hated having the head on. I thought it completed the outfit so i forced the issue.
Dejected

Me at Walden Pond. I went to Boston in October and stayed with a friend. I am an english major so Walden Pond has much significance in my book. I studied writings of Henry David Thoreau for a semester; this was a highlight of my trip. Forgive the funky hair. I struggle with what to do with it when i am in humid conditions. :)

mullet head.
Learning to kiss
um.... (cracked me up after i took this!!)
Got it!

Fall family vacation to Park City. We 'illegally' took caleb down the Alpine Slide. He loved it! i couldn't go fast enough for him. He will end up just like his uncles: daredevils.
he was jumping/dancing on all the grates. so cute!

Looking at a statue with some animal(don't remember which) he recognized
Cute outfit

Mullet Baby
This is my first complete dinner failure. These are supposed to be beef ribs. I tried to follow my grandpa's advice on how to cook these however my grill was a cast off we found for free off the side of the road (please laugh, we do!) and it ignited these. To add fuel to the fire-literally-the ribs had a lot of fat on them so i had a bondfire. i actually had flames coming out of the bbq. This makes me laugh--i have never failed so completely with food and this...what a complete failing. so worth documenting, all b/c of a free bbq. haha
excited to color.
discovery of a pen. i was working and he was playing. obviously i was pretty focused on what i was doing.

All innocent. right

Long Lost

2009-07-15T21:21:00.006-06:00

i have been out-of-internet-commission due to rodents. RODENTS. honestly, somehow i thought rodent damage was something out of a turn of the century novel. i don't know why i didn't think it could happen now. my internet was down for a whole week. ironically i am the only one the rodent damage impacted so far as the company can tell. if you are with MSTAR and your internet spontaneously goes haywire-perhaps the rodent impeded you too.

So as a matter of catch-up i wanted to upload the pictures from the trip caleb and i took Bear Lake with Aunt Juli, Toni, Lindsay, Keeley and J.

Me and Caleb
i am embracing my natural wave.
caleb is enthralled by grass. or J's phone was nearby. caleb has a sincere weakness for cell phones.

Linds and Keeley
we thought keeley started teething on this trip. she wasn't the happiest i have ever seen her but it was so fun to have here there anyway! i loved watching her with Caleb. it is so much fun to watch them become friends.

Caleb giving Keeley kisses.
Notice how he is poking her eye out. he made big slobber marks on her head. it was so cute. i haven't been teaching Caleb to give kisses-he did this all on his own.

Looking somewhat confused when keeley got plopped in Caleb's lap this pose just happened. it was so dang cute to watch them together. Caleb loved trying to cheer up Keeley. Any time she was crying Caleb would go runnin to her to try to talk to her and see how she was doing. it was adorable! keeley loved trying to move like caleb. i have a feeling we will be in trouble when keeley gets bigger. mistchif makers in the making. :)

picture pose.

Linds and keeley
we were so glad they came! me and linds drove up together and it was great. well...the ride up was a little challenging. the kids weren't thrilled to be in the car. but the ride home was better. so glad you came linds!! her car fit all kinds of stuff! i am a horrible packer for trips. inevitably i always have the most stuff. my family is so patient with me. they just laugh which is the best thing with me. my only defence is that i used it all. :) anyone who has pointers of how to pack lite-i would love them!!!!!

Happy Caleb
anytime this kid is outside, everything goes in his mouth and he is happy as a clam. adorable little busy boy. holding still is not a skill this boy has.

Aunt J and Caleb
these two had fun. J thought it was funny to watch caleb run around the condo and me go after him trying to stop him from ruining/breaking things or getting hurt. she was also an awesome help! her and toni watched caleb for me so i could go running-which was awesome!

Enjoyin' the sun. really, if you can't tell, the day was overcast. According to Aunt Juli you can't get sun on an overcast day but she was proved wrong as we discovered later ;)
we had tried to find a beach to hang out at but after an hour of driving we ended up back at the condo which proved to be the perfect hang out. caleb played in the sand. Keeley ate her rice cracker. and the rest of us got sun.

The vacation was awesome! i love to hang out with the women in my family. Linds and J are the best sisters i could have asked for. i am so glad they have accepted me with such open arms. every woman should be so lucky to get a mother-in-law like mine. she is sincerely my other mom. i love her.
thanks for the girls trip!

Discovery Zone

2009-06-26T14:34:00.003-06:00

Obviously, caleb is in discovery mode. here he is caught 'discovering' the inside of his nose.

i really just want to embarrass my son as much as possible before he can really object. lol
really, he is the reason i get up every morning. i love being his mom. even in the hard times. :)

Pizza for Dinner

2009-06-26T14:31:00.003-06:00

The beginning of a love affair

getting every last bite

all done
:)

watch out-gushing

2009-06-11T13:05:00.003-06:00

folks, i just love this weather! i realize it it a bit cold for june. it is also freakin' wet for utah but i love it. thunderstorms. rain. cool air. smell of summer. ahhh wow. i need a book. nothing, and i mean nothing, beats reading good stomach flipping books curled up on the couch and munching on pretzles, candy and water. wow friends, i need some good books to read - non-twilight/harry potter related. please please give me suggstions? i need fictional books that aren't too heavy. i spend a lot of time reading nutrition, fitness, and sometimes government related books. i need something light, enjoyable and ...sigh...good. :)

much love everyone.

Big day Saturday

2009-06-08T12:05:00.006-06:00

Saturday was a big day. I rod the LRRH (little red riding hood). there were varying mileage routes, i signed up for the 47-honestly i heard it was 45, 47 and my mom's little clock thingy said we rode 50 miles. regardless, it was fun. the seat on the bike i used-one of my brothers mountain bikes-felt like cement. 20 miles in, my butt was hurtin! i kept waiting for it to go numb but that didn't happen, just more and more pain. drats! after the ride was over, i ate some food and rested, i realized i could go another 50 miles (provided i could get another seat!). too bad i realized this so late! i had a great time. i have been so worried about this ride and it was so much fun! we did it in 4 hrs 5 min. i wish we would have been faster but for my first organized cycle ride (2nd on the road all year) i had a great time! next time i will go farther and have a MUCH better seat! :) see the skirts-my mom got them for us and they made me feel all girly while i was being tough-what fun combo. thanks mom! the lady coming up beind me in the pic, is the reason i rode. she has been fighting colon cancer and in the past month or two finished here treatments. i have known her all my life and i was privilaged to ride with her-behind her really, she was so fast!

this we saw at the bottom of sardine canyon. we were at a stop light and saw this stuffed creature taped to the side of the bed of a truck. haha

the other reason saturday was big was because we went to the Airshow after my ride. Rob and Caleb came up the cheer me in at the finish line (barely made it! traffic) and then we went to Hill Airforce base to watch the Thunderbirds fly. it was a good time. Caleb did really well traveling considering he was in the car for a good portion of the day. Rob did an excellent job packing for the day all by himself. he usually has me around to overthink everything. it took him much longer than he had thought it would to get everything ready--now he knows from experience :)

my sister-in-law gave us these earplugs for caleb when the Thunderbirds flew. we don't know how much of a difference they made but we'd like to believe they helped. caleb was interested in the planes until the first buzzing of the crowd; this scared him and the rest of the show he was clinging to us and the loud passes he would cry. poor kid. Me and Rob loved it. the airshow is a hakes family event. we usually go to the one in las vegas for veterans day. it was nice that this one was so close!

overall saturday was a good day! i was totally tired by the end but when i woke up sunday, i wasn't sore. i was so glad i could do so much and enjoy it all. those are the days we remember.

New Moon excitment

2009-06-01T13:13:00.004-06:00

i love summer. typically during the summer i have a series of books i read. Work and Glory, Children of Promise, Harry Potter, Twilight saga. i just watched the trailor to the movie of New Moon on stephenie meyer's website-wahoo! i can't wait. i have a feeling this new director is going to be great.

i am just bubbling over. i don't know how many of you know this, but i am a total twilight mom. i pre-ordered the books. i have read them all so many times i can't count anymore. i listen to the music on the website-yes my friends-total nerd. forgive my excitement.
i enjoyed the movie twilight-i felt it was lacking but my version of edward is infinititly more drool-worthy (no offense Robert Pattinson-i have a very good imagination) and bella is different in my head (i do like kristen but again, my imagination is incompariable) and rosalie-well, she looks more like a victoria secret model. blah blah blah
i will say the kid playing jacob (with the haircut-seen in the trailor) totally fits the bill. needless to say, i have enthusiam for this series. the only down side to this summer is that i have read the twilight saga for so many summers i am a little bored (gasp!) of it. i am planning on staying away and hopefully when the movie comes out (hurry november) i will be ready. :)

Hmm...wow...huh

2009-05-25T09:12:00.004-06:00

i read this article about reproduction, women's rights, family planning and how eco-activists are saying we need to have fewer children to save the planet and honestly, i am not sure of my reaction.

D&C 104: 17 says "for the earth is full, and there is enough and to spare; yea, I prepared all things, and have given unto the children of men to be agents unto themselves." Throughout D&C we read of using what we have with 'prudence and thanksgiving' (D&C 89 to begin with).

for generations, population control was managed naturally-either you could have kids or you couldn't. if you are like me and have had a hard time conceiving you are infinitely grateful for God's gift of modern medicine.

how does this fit? am i being a over-consumer? will i teach my family to consume too much? what is behind the green movement? does it really matter? is the environment God gave us going to fail? how does all this impact me in my life? isn't it just another way to spend more on a product? who are the experts and why does their opinion matter?

globalism. reproduction. life cycle. class-status. gospel weaved in all this.
so, i want to know, what do you think?

Marriage is...

2009-05-23T22:58:00.006-06:00

Marriage is the culmination of a lifetime of searching, worry, effort, insecurities, hope and sublime, unadulterated joy.

it is the summation of two parts: completion

it is this completion we defend.

it is a state of such joy the natural law of opposition pulls constantly to rob us.

it is a privilege to fight for the joy and completion of being married.

Toughy

2009-05-22T14:52:00.003-06:00

we had the 12 month checkup today.

weight: 20 lbs
Height:30.5 in
heart: perfect
lungs: perfect
belly : perfect
hips : perfect
ears: double ear infection.

me and dr. cosgrove burst out laughing. Caleb had been wandering around the office, exploring, babbling and being happy and full of energy. you would never have guessed caleb has a double ear infection. he has had a cold lately (he gave it to me-thanks kiddo) but i thought it was almost over. ha!
my brother, jake, is notorious for having a rediculously high pain tolerance (ie. broken arm for a week withough knowing at 10 yrs old). i think caleb will take after uncle jake.

One Year older and wiser too....

2009-05-18T20:49:00.007-06:00

Today caleb is one year old. i have been having flashbacks for a couple days of "where i was a year ago". it is pretty incredible to remember. don't worry, i won't bore you . i wanted to share pictures of caleb's 'birthday party'. we had pizza and cupcakes with some friends. enjoy

not sure bout the hat

reaction to cupcake being put in front of him

video of caleb eating his very first piece of cake.

pulled the hat off

new play toy

documentation of mess made by birthday boy

all done.
happy birthday caleb

American Idol

2009-05-07T14:36:00.003-06:00

i used to never watch tv. i used to scoff at those who had regular 'shows'. i always wondered how people got 'sucked in' and considered myself above such frivolity. well, my pride has been cut down. i am now an average, tv loving, energy consuming, read-all-about-it-later american.
proclamation: i love american idol (among other shows: Bones and The Office).

On tuesday nights the contestants of american idol perform. unfortunately i am not near a tv for the exhibitions so i watch them on the internet that night if i can find them. then again, the next day on americanidol.com and i also read someone's opinion piece about the performances on msn.com. then i watch the results show on wednesday night. i am a faithful follower-like someone's pet dog-call me fido.

pathetic

i figure i am participating in a great american tradition. i don't vote for any contestants but Rob and I (yes, rob is just as hooked as i am) frequently have decidedly intellectual discussions about contestants, the contest itself, music, performance, pop culture, american culture in general vs. our family culture. overall it is fun for us.

in honor of the shake up last night here is what i think about the contestants:

Adam Lambert
i love him. granted, his makeup makes him look a little feminine, the tight pants last night were a little weird but i love love love his voice. if you like the band Muse, you'll know why. i like his wailing sound mixed with harder rock-so just--speachless. he is totally theatrical which makes him awesome to watch on tv. his obvious confidence on stage seemed to give him an edge earlier in the competition but by now this seems to be evening out. i am not sure that he will win though. he has mad talent but i honestly can't see him as a pop star.

Danny Gokey
i like him. like the back story (wife died few months previous to his audition; church music man) but his voice... don't get me wrong, i think he is totally talented but i dont' love him. i like the glasses but i don't feel a pull when i watch him. i don't want to have him sing another song (unlike adam and kris). perhaps it is a genre-crossing issue between me and Danny that stops me from fawning over him. :)

Kris Allen
love him. i totally think he has the most opportunity to win idol. he reminds me of jack johnson, jason mraz, colbie callet. an easy going, talented, come-from-behind-and-surprise-you type. i love his mellowness. he is confident, cute and overall, i like him. he doesn't interest me on stage much-not showy like adam or even danny but i would probably listen to his music a lot more. it isn't moment specific. i could listen to him while i cook, clean, change poopy diapers, fold laundry and share popcicles with Caleb. his appeal is cross genre-most people like mellow music at some time in the day. he is the contestant with the biggest chance.

there you have it people. i am a true-blue tv watcher. i realize this has no bearing on life in general, helps nobody and watching it probably contributes to dying brain cells and growing fat cells but i love it. perhaps there will be a day when i dont' watch quite as much tv (even if it is on the internet) and when that day comes, i vow not to think less of any other american who chooses to veg in front of the tube.

my insane husband ;)

2009-05-02T08:58:00.004-06:00

i have to take this moment to tell you all how crazy my husband is.

our first winter in our condo rob decided he had to get the irrigation system in asap. it was December but he felt like he had to get it in. so, he put it in. it was so cold he took my blow dryer outside to warm up the pipe and glue so it would adhere. he was outside, breath showing in the air and my blow dryer blaring on a Saturday morning with me looking out the window worried about his health. he was lovin' it. he loves to work on his own yard and takes such pride in it, and he does so good.

today, it is raining buckets outside. the yellow and dark green represent heavy rain on the radar-we have the dark green over us right now. rob has been working hard in our yard for a few weeks so he could lay sod today so we can have an outside party for Caleb's 1st birthday. it is raining, muddy and cool outside and my husband is grading topsoil in a t-shirt getting ready to lay sod. when i asked him if he was going to come inside he said 'only if i have to' which means he won't be in until tonight, cold and hungry. if none of this makes any sense here is another way to think of it: when it is raining outside landscape crews stop working-my husband included. yet, today, it is raining like crazy and rob is outside-working.

while i am really excited to have my yard done, i think rob is crazy. it will be one of those stories i tell for a long time. i love Rob. i love how hard he works and even though i think he is crazy for working outside in weather like this i am deeply grateful! really, he is building me eden and i am thrilled.

Animal Crackers+Dog=mischief

2009-04-29T12:02:00.005-06:00

caleb loves to feed gabby, our dog. he thinks it is hilarious. before caleb started solids, gabby really never had human food and she was satisfied that way. Caleb has changed that. every time he is in his high chair, gabby is underfoot waiting for the droppings.

today, i was giving caleb animal crackers while he was playing and he decided to share (awww). he gives gabby a bite then he takes a bite and so on till gabby or caleb gets the whole thing in their mouth. disgusting, i know.

what i don't have is the mischievous grin Caleb gets when i give him a cracker. he knows exactly what he is doing, he knows i am asking him to just eat it. he loves to ignore it all and honestly, i can't help but laughing. i suppose someday it will matter more-for now, it is free comedy.

cooking venture

2009-04-29T11:57:00.003-06:00

Sunday Nap-i was cleaning up from my baking fest the night before where i made mile high apple pie.

My second mile high apple pie. i love to cook, but i especially love baking. i found this recipe on the internet around thanksgiving.